We all make choices as to what to do and how to present ourself. We each have our own sensibilities and fill our mind accordingly. It keeps us busy and gives us something to do. My own mind has a fondness for constant activity and quiet is the exception to the norm. I am a contemplative sort and enjoy the quiet of my mind. I have to choose it.
In the transition between the quiet and active mind I find the component’s of how, of disposition and motive, of attitude. They are like shadow’s that dart trough my awareness hoping I will give chase. These shadowy images are product’s of structured thought. The habit’s of mind. If I choose to let them go I must also amend the thought’s that own them.
These shadowy impulses are predictable. They follow the pattern of thought that produced them and move effortlessly through its maze. Their very existence is determined by us and we have the tool’s to cope with them. We can change the way we think. What we think.
I am working to employ a method that, for me, is new. Simply letting it go. It applies the strength of other tool’s that I have tested and found true, image and affirmation. I spent year’s using, image and affirmation, to correct determined and chronic behaviour, that was injurious to my person. I created a seemingly new person. The old person, I am sure, has a durable shelf life and many people remember him. Certainly the police record is a durable testament. The malcontent met his end almost thirty year’s ago. Maybe I should have the record expunged.
I wonder, how many incarnation’s do we have in a single lifetime? Maybe there is some cat in us from our distant evolution. Nine?
The affirmation and image I am using to, simply let go, is simple. Affirmation’s work best that way. This affirmation is just one word and conveniently is also the image. Transparency. When a shadowy image I am disinclined to chase presents itself, I think, and imagine, transparency. The shadowy siren finds no place and fades away. I expect this will break some component of habit and bring forward the next footfall on my mystic path.
The Mystic Tourist
Yes, I hear voices. They are my own. There is habitual repetition and a struggle concerning it. The racket caused of habit asserts itself at every opportunity, in every circumstance. Just now at the onset of, The Mystic Tourist, it is about exposure. How much to reveal. Perhaps I do not want know it myself.
As I work this post I can feel rage heaving itself. Then, like a switch, it recedes to the background and is suspiciously quiet. It is caused by me and the habit’s of my mind. My personality is singular and I do not so much choose, who, I am, as how. It is like having more than one person to choose from. How will I be who I am? It is up to me.
Today rage is quite manageable. It is not the dominant force that once ruled my life. It does however skew priority and until I quiet it, it remains my appointment. The task at hand. Working on the Tourist is bringing this appointment to its fruition.
There is a part of me who truly wants to hide from view. I shall see if I can bring him out.
The Mystic Tourist.
Anger is always a mask for some other pain or suffering. Never honest it is always a distraction. It is a rut that I find easy to track. I hear its echo and it is a siren who draws me in. The habits of my mind begin the subtle work to secure it.
Fortunately this is no longer the problem it once was for me. I no longer throw myself against the proverbial wall, but, I can still feel the pain. It is difficult for me to distance myself from such an old and trusted acquaintance. Again this farce of difficulty is just an issue of familiarity, and, the true difficulty is in not addressing the underling issue.
It is easy to take the injury that accompanies life and fashion a rational to secure it. Structures of thought give us a framework to forgive and release ,or, build a harbour that collects. Fortunately good habit’s are as tenacious as bad. The good work I have done remains secure and I find myself having to address a familiar problem. I allowed a difficulty in my life to act as a collector. I have now to let the collection go and give the strength of my character its due notice.
I have written before about appointment. That appointment is always present and we have to choose whether or not to keep it. My appointment, again, is this familiar collector, anger. It is always best to let it go.
The Mystic Tourist