Owning My Disease

Having choice, we create. There is nothing about us that is not the manifest of choice. Even in the womb we arrange ourself by choice: at the cellular level. There is no accident and some guidance is at work. The way we find ourselves gives us what we have to do. It has been my good fortune to find myself in an excellent condition. The choices I was given, at birth, were already a statement of considerable success. I did not always make the best of it.

For much of my life I hauled around rage, just for having been given a favorable birth circumstance, while others were not. It is this kind of attitude that is my disease and is the cause of the work I have to do to realize my appointment. That is what occupies me now. For the longest time I was trying to figure out what the work was and now I find myself doing it again. It has kept me from posting. At this time my work is as a sieve and working this blog is postponed while I sort myself out.

Life is forever giving us what we have to do. This is especially true when we choose to do the esoteric work of self-realization. While working,using affirmation and such to bring about the way I want to be, circumstance gives emphasis to the task. I find that what bothers me becomes what I have to deal with by its imposing distraction. Being that I am not a hermit I have many interpersonal interactions. Other people do things and I am annoyed. The tendency is to take this annoyance and place it outside ourself. The tendency is to blame the people we are annoyed with. Truthfully, we alone are responsible for how we feel and how we act. When we fault others we lose control and are being dishonest with ourself.

I am finding that I must take ownership of what bothers me. Only then can I disassemble it and reveal my true character. While it is annoying, I am quite pleased to be finding and doing the work I have to do.

The Mystic Tourist

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