Deconstruction

My deconstruction is well underway. The resurgence of affirmation in my habit is revealing my identity. In my last post, Representation Affirmation Image, I wrote this:

“It is essential to be available to all people, friend or foe, if clarity is the goal and the place is image. It is a place where we can only harm ourselves. When we limit availability, in this place, we begin a process of collecting. When we shut down our availability here, close a door, we shut stuff in, not out. We begin to collect and, collecting or ownership, is a lie, a corruption. It creates darkness, tension, etc. We can not own because we bring nothing to this life and take nothing from it. The notion of ownership is a corruption of responsibility. We are responsible.”

In this process of shutting down we injure the person we are, our identity. In the world of image our identity is expected to be mobile. When we close doors and ‘Shut In’ we lose our mobility, without which our identity can not be known. We become hidden even onto ourselves. In releasing ourself from constraint we discover accountability. With this mobility we have to account for ourself. Mobility here requires openness and honesty and so my deconstruction is underway. It is necessary to disassemble the mechanism of restraint. To be accountable.

I use affirmations. They are extremely powerful. When I consider an affirmation I am particular about its structure. An affirmation is never about what I might do, can do or did do. To be affective it has to be present tense without allusion to the past or the future. It is never about what I can do. It is always a declaration of something that is now. It needs to be clear and concise. Brevity is best. Here is an example; ‘I control the way I feel’.

Affirmations, for me, are sometimes transitory, not exactly complete. There is one I am using currently that will provide an example: Disposition without harm is confidence. The transitory component is, ‘Without harm’. There is some component of my disposition that is harmful. To resolve it, it gains this honorary mention in my affirmation. I expect that when I have resolved the issue, due to this attention, I will produce a much cleaner affirmation.

This is the way I deconstruct what is interfering with my personal progress. When the impediments are removed I have not built something but rather I have unveiled something. My quest is for self-realization. To realize what I am without constructing a character or person. To give awareness to the durable fact of my existence.

The Mystic Tourist

Representation Affirmation Image

Intentionally building the person we are. We can not escape intention or that what we do is deliberate. We can accept responsibility. We can direct our intention and deliberation. Perhaps you read my post Devils and Details. In that post I was using transparency as an affirmation as well as an image. It proved quite affective in letting go of  darkness and its collectors I had designed for  myself. Its usefulness is spent and continued use is similar to hiding in plain sight, moving through the world of image, transparent, as if I am not there. Recognition is key to effectiveness in the substantive place of image.

Our habits of mind also create habits of body. My habits, that clouded what is my home and is image, gave me a hardening of  muscle. A physical armoring or tension. Its presence also replicates habit and seeks that which it has known. The tension is born of thought and produces thought and so I have arrived at an opportunity for affirmation. Affirmation corrects or changes thought and our mind and body learn a new habit.

It is essential to be available to all people, friend or foe, if clarity is the goal and the place is image. It is a place where we can only harm ourselves. When we limit availability, in this place, we begin a process of collecting. When we shut down our availability here, close a door, we shut stuff in, not out. We begin to collect and, collecting or ownership, is a lie, a corruption. It creates darkness, tension, etc. We can not own because we bring nothing to this life and take nothing from it. The notion of ownership is a corruption of responsibility. We are responsible.

The affirmations I am using create availability without prejudice which allows my body to release its tension, relax. They rescind complaint by acceptance, forgiveness of anything and accommodate confidence. Confidence is simply being absent any harmful disposition. All of these allow my body to relax and invite. Invitation allows only that which actually is, truthfully is, to be observed. Truth being absolute it is without harm.

The Mystic Tourist

Who Controls How

That which is produced of flesh, the animated person who belongs to just one expression of birth, is how we are. There is the more aesthetic concern of, who, that is the source of much consternation. Is there a component of how that is who? Something that proceeds birth and survives its demise. I answer the question, yes, and others are just as sure, no. In the population who believe that life exists beyond the cycle of birth there is durable disagreement.

My birth circumstance is Christianity. I was born into a devout Catholic household. If you like cautionary tales Catholicism is a good one. We have all those Saints, many of them martyred, brutally murdered for their gifts and talents. And there is Jesus. A kind and gentle man who knew life’s riddle and sought to unveil its secret. He was tortured, abandoned and brutally murdered, for being such a nice guy. The Catholic message is very clear, no one is special except for the gifted few, and, the price they pay is hardly worth it.

Even God won’t help you if you are not baptized. God is such a mean and evil sort that there is a special place, beyond the reach of  comprehension, so awful that only experience can reveal the excruciating weight of its suffering. God maintains this place not for some despicable few, it is reserved for the whole of humanity. Catholics get a pass and enjoy a blissful eternity. Other Christians believe heaven is reserved for them and even the Catholics get to go to hell.

Why do we tell such stories and choose to believe them; I do not know. Clearly if there were such a God there would be great honor and nobility in refusing Gods invitation. It would be a true act of compassion to go to hell with the rest of humanity. Most of them, by the way, good people.

These religious sensibilities, our political bent, how we consider our fellows and even life itself are products of  our birth circumstance, the fact of our flesh and its circumstance. It is how we are. It is easy for me to imagine that I am not contained by my flesh, that how I am is incidental. The life that I see is in no way defined or confined by my flesh. I am unable to perceive a beginning or end. I am. How does that translate into something else?

As I consider myself and work to bring fruition to my promise, to who I am, I have to puzzle how I am, to be the same thing as who. Even though it wants to know who how is a very stubborn sort. How typically wants to own who, to be as important. It is just not possible. It is not that who is more important, ultimately they are the same. Who simply wants more and that is, naught. There is something about the finite condition of the birth cycle that spurs us to ownership. It may simply be culture.

Ownership is often a corruption of responsibility. The notion that having a lot of things brings satisfaction. Or even the opposite that the absent of these things brings satisfaction. It is in acceptance that we find satisfaction. The projection of our values onto our opportunity and then claiming ownership falls short of satisfaction. It is in acceptance that we recognize a different value in opportunity. We don’t so much own it as we do accept responsibility for it. It is the same look but a different feel. This is who determining how.

In our society we often expect that the successful person applies how they are to create who they are. When we accept who we are we remove a door and instead of who and how who becomes how.

The Mystic Tourist