Finished With Waiting

Much time is spent in anticipation. Things will be favorable later and then we will act. Making plans to someday do what we might otherwise be doing assures that it is not being done. We do plan and make priorities. This scenario is active execution and we are not waiting. We fill much of our time expecting that later we will be able to do what we can not do today not even knowing what that might be. It is because we fill our time with what we do not have to do. Many of the norms used to guide us demand this of us. We wait for the messiah or the new age, armageddon, rapture. The prophets and messiahs we recognize had finished with waiting and that is what distinguishes them from the rest. When you are under the wheels of war, that is armageddon. Waiting for the rapture, is waiting, in the embrace of its full measure. The new age only arrives now. When we recognize our priorities and act on them, now.

Only in accepting that it is my responsibility to do, what must be done, can there be any hope that it will ever be done. It must be what I am doing now. Each of us knows what we have to do and we alone can decide it. Satisfaction and fulfillment have the same measure for each but not the same application. The commonality is that we must do it now. The press of now is where we must resolve ourself. We have no other time. It is always time to act on what we must do and only appropriate to do it now.

We can only decide what we must do by doing it.

The Mystic Tourist

Unsecured Borders

We sometimes impose ourself in the aura of another or experience this happening to ourselves. For me this causes a very heavy sensation and I am suddenly, very tired. When I am rested and for no apparent reason fighting falling to sleep, I ask myself if this might be the cause. If I determine it is the cause I consider who the person is and ask them to attend to their own appointment. Suddenly I am refreshed, no longer fighting sleep. For me this takes place in the realm where image is substance and I use divination to make the various determinations as to who, what and why. As I consider this I can see the weakness but not its definition. I will use this post to consider and define this opportunity.

I do not understand the breach and so I will divine it as I work this post and the post will represent that, a mysticism.

Firstly it represents an opportunity that I call appointment. This is a condition I experience over and over again and so it is a call to understand it. An appointment. It represents a porous condition that I think must be missed appointment. Generally, we all miss appointments and that causes a collective that is common and we can confuse. This confuse is the heaviness, the sudden tiredness, I feel, when my aura has the weight of more than one occupant. It represents a common thread in the collective of missed appointment whereby we can confuse our aura. In my last post I wrote of the superego. I think that this confusion is tied to the rules of engagement between id, ego and community that is the superego. That of course would be the commonly held falsehoods that we impose on ourself this way. The superego is not intended to hold falsehoods or to impose.

The only remaining challenge is to discover and keep the missed appointment. Missed appointments in the superego, that are represented as false rules of engagement, were generally made in youth, often very early youth. We then structure ourself by applying these rules. We imagine some difficulty in working around, beyond, or in correcting them. Collectively we agree that this is so. The true difficulty is in maintaining silly rules that are not true. Because these rules are held collectively there is also a collective effort to maintain and repress any correction. This is in particularly true when a person has held these views, in the community of their circumstance, for a lifetime. All of this is subtle and there is a whisper, a conversation, heard and ignored by all, that maintains it.

The most pressing appointment I see for myself in all of this is twofold. First this blog because clearly, it is my current avenue of growth. Secondly it is to address my irritation born of all of this. I am certain we all see this and I am irritated that I can not just ignore it as seems to be the norm. For me this ignorance requires willful deliberate determination. It makes a mess of my attitude and my disposition. Been there, done that and have no inclination to revisit it. It is this irritation, that I have, that is the breach in my aura. I simply have to keep my appointments instead of the irritation. And that is my mysticism on the issue of Psychic Weight.

The Mystic Tourist

Prepared is Not Enough

The constant act of preparation avoids success. At some point preparation is enough and continued preparation is just a shadow dance to avoid what we have prepared for. Short of doing what demonstrates preparedness, we only prove that we can prepare. A merry-go-round whose brass ring we ignore. Sometimes the ring is considered from a vantage point that does not allow access sending us round and round while we plot our course. Round and round. The choice must ultimately be made to do what has been prepared for, or not. At some point the opportunity expires and we are off to realize success elsewhere.

We prepare so that we might do. It is in the execution of our preparation where pause resides. When I write of preparation and execution it is, of course, in reference to the subject matter of this blog. That which is esoteric. When considering the execution of preparation in mystical matters there is a pause between preparation and realization. The psyche needs to organize the id, superego and ego in a way that completes preparation and proves it with execution. The id knows and wants satisfaction and the ego is determined to be separate, independent from all else, the superego imposes the rules of engagement between these two and then the world at large. Of all of this the psyche is able to moderate and amend. The ego, I think, is the most sensitive of these four, it is the face we let the world see. I believe there are rules imposed on ego by the superego that are not true and yet these rules are commonly held in our human community. Due to psychology and its structures the ego is unwilling to expose itself because of perceived risk. This is the pause.

Beyond the structures of psychology there is an underling seed of existence, an innate comprehension of what is, that is shared by all that is, and, does not differentiate. It is our common ancestor, descendant and it is who we are. It is the psyche that is most able to express this but it is the ego that is most determined to control. In a earlier post I wrote of the kundalini. There is a similar relationship between these components of our psychology. There can be single cohesion that reveals a divine or enlightened state. It is normal and ordinary people experience and express it.

The Mystic Tourist

Managing My Broken Back

Decades ago I injured my back and then my neck. In 1970 I fell seventy feet while riding a motorcycle off-road. I managed to set the bike down and stay on it. On impact I sat down hard enough to compact my seventh or eighth thoracic vertebra. Then when I was twenty-four I drove a motorcycle into a ditch and was catapulted into a mountainside at 70 m.p.h. The bike had lost its brakes and it was the best option I had. I was helmeted and wearing a leather riding jacket. I hit the mountain with my head and right shoulder. The riding gear saved my life but when I took the jacket off my favorite shirt, a heavy cotton rugby shirt, was now being worn around my waist, having been torn off of my back. The riding jacket, no worse for the wear, is probably why I still have two arms or even am still alive. I walked away from these accidents. No hospitals, no doctors.

The earlier injury forced me to the chiropractor on a number of occasions, but, I did nothing but increase my drink, to control the difficulties associated with the second accident. That strategy came to a halt two and a half years later. While at work my neck suddenly went very bad ending my work day and sending me to a chiropractor. I never saw a more puzzled look on any face than his look when he returned with the x-rays. When did you break your neck, he wanted to know? I told him I never did. Eventually, after another two and a half years, the amount of drink required to work, Hot Mop Roofing, and deal with the pain had wrecked my life. I quit drinking and quickly found I could not work without it.

I was twenty-nine and it dawned on me that my reckless lifestyle might not, as planned, kill me. The only attrition might be a long and painful life. I decided to try Acupressure. I found a man studying Transpersonal Psychology. He was using acupressure in his studies while he worked on his doctorate. I had no income and could not pay so he suggested I should barter and I became his Acupressurist and Counselor in exchange for the same. This experience was profound. I spent a year and a half doing nothing but rehabilitation. During this time I consulted an orthopedic surgeon who advised me that people in my condition did not recover well enough that labor was an option. He then clarified his advise by stating that as a medical doctor ,this was the only responsible advise he could give me. He said, it was rare,  but some people ignore good advise and manage to recover anyway. I should not count on that.

I learned many tricks during this time to manage my stress. I had long been ill-tempered and the years of drinking had fortified that. If I allowed myself to get angry it would undo months of rehabilitative work in a few seconds. When anger arose I would go into the yard and walk circles. I would then walk in the other direction to counter the tendency to wind up. The anger would be in the ground. I used Qigong to do all the things it is good for and I used affirmations. I used a cane to force myself to stand straight. (When I started I carried my right shoulder several inches lower than my left). I learned to use a divining rod to discover and unravel stress. I slept on a padded board. I modified my truck so I could drive it without re-injuring my back. I modified my chair to help me sit straight. I would take four and five-hour walks. I already mentioned the psychotherapy and acupressure.  This effort did get me back to work and overall improve me as a person.

After a year and a half I was able to work again. The work did, however, re-injure my back. I had two three-month stretches of no work and lots of rehabilitation. Due to this I opted for self employment. Labor was very difficult, at times driving me to tears. Extremely painful but I worked through it. The mobility that I enjoy today is likely do to my determination and the physical labor that is my occupation. The doctor gave me sound advise. He was right.

To this day I continue to see improvement and my back today is pretty good. It requires maintenance. I continue with chiropractic and from time to time practice Qigong. I use my swing rod to divine what is best now. Dowsing seems the most useful tool I have in managing and reducing my stress. My neck is no longer a frightening thing to live with. When I last had it x-rayed it was fusing itself. Six or so years ago I corrected that and I continue to see marked improvement in comfort and flexibility. The pain and discomfort in my back and neck would eat my alive if I did not have a way to manage and improve it. I do. I use divination. It has proven itself as my best resource in my continuing recovery and pursuit of happiness.

The Mystic Tourist

Prejudice Fulfilled

I have prejudice born of subtle repetition of thought. Casual thought is not particularly formative. Some thought, born of attitude and disposition, becomes a silent unnoticed repetition. Attitude and disposition are formed of thought and then secured by its repetition. These whispers bend our intent fulfilling their own prejudice. What we might otherwise see is lost by these distortions because our trajectory does not allow for arrival. Notice of this gives rise to appointment and trajectory is corrected by eliminating the whisper.

I have boiled the subtle content of the habits of my mind down to tolerance. I am not particularly tolerant and this is the prejudice of notice today. Although intolerance is poorly contained its source-point is a singular focus, myself. I have very little tolerance for my shortcomings and that only assures that I continue to fall short. Earlier in this exorcise of self that continues to be, The Mystic Tourist, that which today is intolerance was much more pronounced. A roiling shadow, rage, always beside me waiting for my invitation. It was an unwelcome companion whose invitation I withheld but its shadowy menace was unsettling and distracting. I have now met its parent, Intolerance.

This intolerance is a subtle companion that resides inside me and once cast a shadow that was the rage that resided beside me. The rage is gone but its parent wants it back, so my appointment is to discharge him as well. It seems an easy dismiss. When I notice this visitor I consider, Tolerance, an affirmation that is a welcome calming whisper. This will replace intolerance, reside within me, and cast no shadow.

The Mystic Tourist

Life is What Proves Existence

Do we ever question existence? Yes we do and yet we do exist, we must, just to be able to question it. That begs the question, does existence begin and end? I think existence is a constant without constraint. It just is. Because of existence we find ourself aware of existence. When we consider existence do we separate it into parts some more durable than others? Yes we do. We consider ourselves in this way. We consider ourself somehow different from the rest. We are what does exist and there is nothing that separates us from all that does exist.

Existence creates of itself this awareness and animation of itself that is life. I accept it as a permanent condition just like the rest of existence. My death will not diminish existence or take away from it. We are just not that powerful. The deity that exists and measures us into parts some more deserving than others did not create us. We did, and do, create it. It is an illusion that alludes to some durable good. It is a good that we will find in ourself if we are to find it anywhere. When we give god  the authority to reign over eternal damnation we have failed. Such a god can not exist. There can be nothing separate from the whole of existence. The God that does exist allows that everything has an equal value and is included as existing.

The fact of this state allows that we can be wrought from anything, even this muddy speck of dust we call earth. Cognition awareness and sentiency, the animated celebration of existence that is life, prove Gods existence. Not the god who we chose but the God who choses us and of which we are created.

The Mystic Tourist

Occupational Rehab

Working and living a normal, ordinary life, has been my aspiration. Physical labor has been a hallmark of that endeavor. I now look to move to an occupation less dependent on my physical labor. Having proven, at least to myself, normalcy, I have other work to do. The need for proof is not my concern. I am who I am. As I look at success in the world I live in what strikes me is how easy it is. Clearly it is just a choice we make and then subsequent choices follow. There are many components but success can be expressed in any circumstance. In my circumstance I can make success easily out of my life. It is not that it is any easier than whatever else I might do it is that it is as easy. I need to rehabilitate my financial occupation to be more secure.

When I started this blog I thought I would work it somehow toward that goal. I think there is probably enough interest what interests me that I could develop a market or that this pursuit will reveal my opportunity. From the onset I have imagined that the success I will find will be different than the designed goal I started with. To create a financial success using a blog is a lot of work. It is easier to work it the other way around. To start with a product and then blog to support and market it. You can hobble it together any way you like. Start with a blog, develop the existing interest and then develop a market. I have a strong work ethic so putting work into something is just one of the things I do.

I am surprised by the pace of personal growth that blogging has spurred and I find myself asking if that alone was not the success I desired. Still in need of a better financial footing I wonder if this blog is a vehicle capable of that. I wonder if it is desirable to exploit it that way. For a blog to generate income, traffic is needed, and, if I focus on that I can spike my traffic. I have done that. I could develop product on a different site, direct traffic from that site to this site, and vise versa. My blog is a proven vehicle for growth but is it a vehicle for financial growth? I do not know the answer yet.

I very much would like to improve my financial security. What to do, what to do?

The Mystic Tourist


People exist in a collective, transcendent of space and time and fixed in our appointment, flesh; that some value will be completed. I live for one appointment, to be that completion. Collectives are a binding together of parts that act as one. There is permission only to act as one. Success is cognition of this paradox. Each person does choose and establish their self  as a recognized individual fully accountable as one complete expression whose existence depends on the collective with no fixed space or time. Animated flesh gives us what is our only means to consider existence, our person. The binding nature of the collective is for assurance and respect of our place in the whole. All success is collective.

Openness is an essential component in realizing our appointment. The movement of the one is the movement of the whole. It is this embrace that gives us the most distress as we do consider ourself independent from the whole. It is the vacant timelessness of our transcendent collective that allows us to be one, the collective, and recognized as an independent person simultaneously. We are what does have appreciation of creation. Of what does exist. Creation is the existence of the person, independent, self-determined and yet inseparable from the whole. The impossibility of it requires and is creation.

Negotiating being precedes everything we might know and every possible satisfaction. My interest is in what I have been alluding to, the fruition of experience. I want to do it privately; an option that does not exist. The value that consumes me can only be known collectively.

Committing to collective success destroys vulnerability. The inclusion of all in the expression of just one has been my work of late. Somehow confidence must precede success and without success, where is the confidence? I must be open to the entire collective and true to my singular appointment of self at once. It is my only path, that is what I see.

The Mystic Tourist

Question Complete

Leaving everything unanswered I have completed the question. I have done it before. I like the question but will I answer it, can I answer it? Is there an answer? Maybe it is the question that interests me and I have no use for the answer. Perhaps I know the answer and prefer the question. I think it is all of this. A perpetual evolution in which nothing changes. The question at some point becomes the answer and then of course the answer is a question and of this tension existence is generated.

Should an answer be brought to bear that resolves, ends the question, what then? Certainly that would conclude what we do here. It is question that seems to drive us in this life and in its answer we have found our destination. I think no matter how we live we are pursuing or avoiding some question and I am not sure the answer is that important. Ultimately the question has its answer and in that they are the same. We must all know this and it is demonstrated by our existence.

I have long held the notion that I can bring the answers forward and that is what I am here to do. I do not know why I think such a thing but certainly without bringing myself forward the cause is lost. If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it does it make any noise: we have all heard that before. I continue to work on this because I want greater clarity and because it is pretty much the only thing that drives me. It is an act of compassion, as answer, in this sense, is absolute. The pursuit of any absolute allows that any responsibility, commitment, etc is met or the pursuit fails. I also believe in ordinariness,that there is no one greater that the other, and in this way there can be no leader. We each choose and do as we will.

I hope I find a way to bring myself to where I think I can be and bring a little levity, a little light, to notice. Light being shared understanding and levity the buoyancy of cognition.

The Mystic Tourist