Choosing the Past or the Future

As renewal makes another attempt to get my attention and I consider inventing myself again, the shards, bits and pieces of the life I have broken, against the wall I call the future, lie scattered about. When life falls apart it is along the same familiar lines and then I wonder to fit it back together, a little differently, letting some of the pieces live in the past. I know the future is for remembering and I can only carry the past into it when I make it the same thing. If ever we are stuck it is only because the past we carry is not the future we remember. As I look at my life, from wherever I stand, I see what lies before me, whichever way I turn it is the future that I see. Do I choose the promise of the future or stay mired in the false familiarity of bits and pieces selected from my past? The wall against which I have broken my life is just the stuff from my past that will not fit in my future. Will I climb that mountain and put it behind me? Will I make my claim and bring this future, familiar and known, into the past making it familiar and known? The echo of my past, the most enduring loudest things I did there beg me to let them go and in so doing remind me of their reality enticing their renewal. The new me, the future I remember, awaits my choice.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

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