The Sophomore and The Satan

As a sophomore in high school I was very bright, especially when it came to math. Today it is all I can do to add and subtract simple numbers. At age twenty-one I struggled to teach myself that two and three is five. For about three months in 1972 I took a lot of speed. Pretty sure that is where eleven years of math went. Could have been 1971, it does not matter. I would love to have the math back but am fortunate that is the only lasting damage to my intellect. My mind still works the same way, I just can’t remember my math. Sadly when I was that sophomore I decided to quit all effort at school, including math. I quickly fell behind and my brightness faded. Today as I work to restore my spiritual life I am being directed to revisit this poor decision as a sophomore. I have worked on it for some time now, never quite able to identify what the underlying issue is, until now. A Satan has taken refuge in the embarrassment I felt as my prowess in math class disappeared. The decision to give up and quit all effort in school initiated a downward spiral in my life and the Satan joined me to aid in my demise. We rarely know these guys are around. That is part of the deal we make with them. Now as I recognize the time, the place and that a Satan is involved it is plain to see and recognize the nature of this particular Satan.

This Satan has the traditional look of a Satan. A barbed tail and what appear to be horns. It actually has no horns rather it has four faces and when it looks you in the face it appears to have horns. The faces spew an uninterrupted rational to keep us fixed and populate our experience with whatever difficulty can be wrung out of a bad decision. We become ignorant of this influence and deny it all together. The tail is used to enter us in the most intimate way and in the closeness of the relationship we lose all sight of the source of this evil influence. It is an association we invite and so we can not blame these for our plight. I have rid myself of this difficulty in the past but they come back if we decide to take up with difficulty again.

This Satan has been very annoying and I have physically felt its presence for a long time. It seems so obvious now and I now know the source of negative thought that I have tried to shake. This four faced liar has been speaking it over and over hoping I would give chase. There are other ways to rid a life of negative influence, whether you name them as I have or not. For me, today, this is the way. These influences can not survive the light and moving it from a dark recess in my past the contract that kept it there is void.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

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