Defending God

Belief, Religion, Faith and Protest. These elements can make a toxic soup. If protest is removed the recipe is much more versatile. Protest implies an inflexible position, defensiveness or imposition, that is a short list but you can see my drift. Truth, God, absolutes, do not need defending and indeed can not be defended. If they could be defended that means they could actually be exposed to a threat. What could possibly threaten God, truth or any absolute? Protest is simply useless in matters of Religion, Belief and Faith. It is the corrupting influence. This holds true in my secularist view as well and I am as guilty as any when it comes to protest. You can see protest in slogan-like declarations. Claiming credit for Allah, for Jesus, for Jehovah or whomever, either by a grand call for their intervention or similar claim of their allegiance to your cause, is as a call to arms. The ‘faithful’ clamor to the sound of these declarations and an inflexible posture is noticed by all. It is great for circling the wagons and if a person longs for being insulated within such a group it is likely the community will welcome them in. In these kind of arrangements we all hope they are organized for the purpose of inclusion. Our history is a cesspool of religious violence. Secular minded people are in no way innocent in this regard. They are however far less likely to be as organized but the injurious nature of the posture that is protest knows no boundary except its absence.

I bring this up because I am looking in my life to lose this tendency, it is a hurdle. It is of no use to jump over said hurdle, its only purpose, is to learn of its uselessness and remove it. How can I reach out to ‘all’ people while I maintain the archetypeture of protest in my person? There is no way to do to it and it is the wall or barrier that cripples growth. What growth? Openness, inclusion, availability, there can be no wall, no barrier, if these attributes are present. Maintaining any barrier becomes a common denominator. Anyone who maintains their protest (barrier) has it in common with anyone else they meet who does the same, and it serves to separate. By any name it is the same thing and no matter what side we are on, or if we think of ourselves as a united group, it only serves one thing, division, separation, argument. When we encounter someone in this posture, we assume the posture our self, either in agreement or opposition. Whatever side we choose to stand on makes no difference as to what we are actually doing. The only way to amend this tendency is to put down the wall and take no position of protest, ever. What we are left with if we have no wall, behind which to take cover, pretending strength, is nakedness. On the face of it this seems uncomfortable but really it is just unfamiliar. God, truth and absolute can not be defended because they can know no threat. The only way to stand with what is God, truth and absolute is to know no protest and take no defense. So now, how to do it?

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012


What is it that could possibly be unknown, that could escape understanding? Anything able to organize itself well enough to exist reveals every secret. There is no mystery. It is ignorance alone that separates us from enlightenment. No sacred text is written down. The sacred text is who you are and who I am. One only needs to know their self to understand.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012


The cause of disease is centered on broken expectation. By allowing our mistakes to be what defines how we are, our center is lost. To remember where our true center is follow the protest, the voice of complaint, it leads the way. The noise it makes has a purpose, to be heard. By listening to our complaint we allow it to end. It is only by resistance, holding the complaint captive that it continues to complain. It is hard to let these complaints go and they fester and boil into a toxic soup that is illness or disease. We need to embrace our complaint and in this way let it go. It is by this assurance, an acknowledgement that the complaint has been heard, that we are able to assure our self and all is well. If you have been reading my blog you will know that this is what I am working on right now. Apparently I need to stop complaining.

Is there an origin of complaint, a single source? I think there is and that is the voice, the complaint, the noise to follow. It leads to our true center where there can be no complaint. It is complaint that draws us to complain and complaint breeds complaint, breeds complaint, breeds complaint and we walk, on complaint, from center. If there is only one complaint, what is my complaint? Having carried it for so long it is very loud, especially when I approach true center. How else will it get my attention, after all, I have not been listening. Listening is not complaining and it is one or the other. Often I feel conflicted, almost as if I am two people, I see now it is this complaint.

A complaint against my father. Two years old. He was upset with me about my determination and I got punished by him. I was devastated. I could not reach him with my complaint. That is the complaint. I spent most of the day yesterday working to divine this representation of long forgotten complaint. My father is dead now and I believe he is reincarnate, continuing his path of fate in search of destiny. I can reach him there through forgiveness and the spirit of compassion, love. Together with mindfulness of God, Angels and persons who have ascended the incarnate cycle, forgiveness breaks this injurious bond we forged when I was two. Instead of my inclination toward complaint I now have a sense of closeness and calm. I can feel my father, not at my side but within me, a part of me, much as I think a child would. It is a great comfort as I sit and write.

The warmth of this memory, of reconnecting with my father was very nice, an example of subtlety and power. I have it back now but it quickly disappeared, displaced by a visitor. It is a person I know but the exchange was spiritual. A representation of the persons spirit and an invitation to recommit to complaint that pushed me from working on this post. I get these sort of visitors all the time, we are spiritual beings, we behave in a spiritual manner, and I see the spiritual world. I am happy to report that all the work I have written about here on the has made me stronger and this visitor only wants something to be revealed by this work. I have not quite learned the lesson that allows me to stay centered when an agitated visitor finds me but I am better everyday at returning to center. Center is a place I return to over and over again until it is the one place I am. Today what pulls me away are the lessons I learn on the way back. The process is creating a place, a spiritual place here in the temporal world. A place where I will find comfort walking in both worlds.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Casual Spiritual Living

The purpose driving The Mystic Tourist is to flesh out my spiritual life in the public theater. Coaxing myself into the open. I have had to slay a few beasts on the way, personal demons and the like and am beginning to feel much less self-critical. My casual intuition is showing signs of life again. The ability to write about this stuff, my blogs content, is due to being familiar with it. It is the stuff of my life. My goal has always been to restore my casual spiritual experience, it fell off the truck when my marriage went up in flames in the mid 1990’s. It was easy to blame my spiritual path for that failure, but it had nothing to do with it. I wound up replacing a fulfilling spiritual experience with hardship and times were hard. The marriage was a failure from day one and all that was left for me was the commitment, to put everything I had into it, I did. In the end I felt quite bankrupt and my ex used my investment to try to ruin me and my children. We are fine but you can not behave like that and be alright, so she is not. I wish her only well and continue to hope that she will begin a course of good decision-making, for her own well-being.

Casual spiritual living. This is what I have worked to get back to. As long as I have known who I am I have known that I will one day have to make my public life, and my spiritual life, the same. As I look back today I see that I was more open than I have given myself credit for. Many people, in the community providence arranged for me, knew of my spirituality. The place that providence has arranged, and where I find myself this morning, is not the selective openness of my past. It is a world without walls where discretion is openness. Never been comfortable with that but this work is building that wall-less world and I am beginning to know a sense of comfort and ease. This is the place I am building. A place where my spiritual companions can stand. Before they will stand, I have to be comfortable with it. I see spiritual realities and as I look for what remains to be done I am not sure if I have a wall yet standing, a door to open, or just what. Something remains and a part of me is still inclined to threaten me. The voice of protest hoping to dissuade me from openness. Oh well, I am sure I will conquer that as well, but not without your help. As much as writing this blog has nurtured and produced my growth those who read it have done as much. Thank you for your patience. I do think I will get to the point one of these days. Love to all and to all my gratitude. Building a public place for spiritual reality to be known requires the element that is ‘public’ and I am indebted to you.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Me and My Ego

People fail to acknowledge that choice has magic. Instead their choice anchors past compromise entangling others.

In order that sustained resolve produces verifiable results, recognized independently to be credible, commitment by my public life is a must. Beginning with past missteps, establish myself, my known person, by my comfort and willingness to engage with anyone. Reveal to all who have an interest, my ability, beginning my life when I concede all excuses. Now; There is no more to explain, it is magic. Being what does exist, Now, proves my worth. Being at ease and openly expressing myself is new to me. I have a long history of making my opinion known and that implies a certain level of comfort in public circumstance. Socially and politically, I have a number of strong opinions. Anyone who knows me personally is unable to escape that. My apologies. The loudness of my opinion is an expression of inner conflict. What I really need to express is found on this blog and I have long been conflicted about making public, the life I live within. I have also long believed it is something I can not escape. As you can see, that is conflict realized. This blog represents my conquest to put the conflict to rest. If you have read my work you know that I have often mentioned the richness of my spiritual life. I expect to successfully end my conflict and connect the spiritual world I know with the shared experience of our animal life. In this transition the spiritual content of my life is distant. I believe it is due to the charge that I make it public, and the path I must cut so that spiritual beings can walk the animal world at my side.

I do believe that I have cleared my future of the obstacles that defeat now. Quite sure that task was finished well over a decade past. Recently, as mentioned here on my blog, I discovered past decisions that were fundamental to the development of my disposition. Having hid them quite well I was surprised to find them where they were. Sitting in plain sight waiting for this writing project and unfolding circumstance to remind me of a past in need of redress. I believe I have committed that redress and am moving along the newly cleared path.

The constant obstacle, in all such endeavors, is Ego. Our Ego develops in our world at a time when we are quite young. The Ego remains young, never quite growing up. It wants to guided, nurtured, loved. It is to be directed but often is the director. It is not intended to be such a thing and so it populates our life with weeds. You see the Ego is our personal garden and if we fail to care for it, the garden is weeds. Even if we should manage our garden into good health, when we slip-up, it always populates the landscape with the same weeds. Now in my life, I think the garden is clear. My tendencies remain, I fixed them in place as a young boy. I will see what I grow in this garden now, hoping to avoid whatever pitfall pretends to spoil me.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Choosing The Future

Having my spiritual experience be a matter of open discussion provides a platform for public spiritual introspection. Today my spiritual growth requires my ability to admit publicly, the spiritual experience I have had. It has been a painful process, this new growth. I have had to search my past for the pain and suffering that would not let me be comfortable in this public role. To relive it and bring it to new terms. A wrestling match often leaving me feeling beat up. I had misplaced my authority, as a child, blaming others for the pain I felt. I chose to surrender my trust. To hide from view. I have known a very rich spiritual life that did not require me to return to the grief of the past and relive it. It was a private time that has now past. It ended in pain, and healing required putting all of my pain on the table. Digging it out of the past or the future, wherever I hid it. I am now free to consider myself without it. To paint myself in a new light.

All difficulty stems from the simplest of choice. So simple we often are unaware of our choices, making them while in a state of ignorance. A reaction that captures our freedom and binds us to the past. The future, if it is to be a spiritual success, must find a way through our past to the future absent past regret. All choice must be seen as helpful and poor choice restored to what is best. Any hesitation is the pause intended to consider redress and progress mends the time of our life, past and future.

Can we see the future? Silly question, of course we see the future, it is right in front of us. The trouble is that we are stuck in the past. We scatter our self, bits and pieces, here and there, in the past. If we want to see the future we must revisit the past, gather all of the bits and pieces, mend them, and make our self whole again. Doing this we see that the past is the future and we understand. The only mystery that exists, we create. Hiding in the expanse of time, past and future, the secret of our true identity. We are spiritual beings in a temporal reality. Our spirit is not alone, it has many influences some good, and others that simply distract. We do not so much need to find our way, where else could we be? It is more an act of acceptance. The truth is omnipotent, we are known to it. It is in surrendering our resistance that we see the way.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Peace Now

Peace. The past exists to remind us. It is not intended that we should carry it but when we do, it is the future. Now is all that is. It intends that we should remember a future better than the past, until we have done our best, and that becomes the past.

Namaste. Peace.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Anchors Aweigh

Established norms present every lesson revealing success; Providence

For most of my life I have imagined myself a victim. That decisions made on my behalf, by others, when I was young, had cast my life in a way that left me injured. Naturally this did trouble me and I have plotted and pondered some way to get around it ever since, thinking there must be some way to consider things differently. Certainly I am in control of how I see and consider myself. All these years working to solve this riddle have finally done just that. I have considered myself a victim, all the while imagining that I can not be a victim except by choice. Having this knowledge, of course I am not a victim because I know better. It has been a conundrum and now I know why. It never was the decisions made on my behalf that cased any problem but rather the decisions I made about what others did. My choices fixed as problem-some, a stage in my life. Well that act is over now and the episode has a new bearing in my life. I have discovered that the choices I made, after the fact, fixed in place, a problem to be solved. Problem solved. This early life challenge is now a riddle solved and no longer serves to anchor me to negativity. I think that fixes quite a few things. It corrects an error in disposition and returns authority to its true seat. Correcting this place allows every choice to have a new bearing and purpose stands corrected. Relief after so long is powerful and I can consider every moment of my life in a new light. I have rid myself of a useless engine in my life and emptied burden from possibility. A freedom I have sought for a lifetime is now mine. I feel as if I have so much room, that I have lifted an anchor and am ready to set my sail.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Driving Lessons

Well I am a busy boy, plotting the past and the future to be here now. As I work to be available, to make my spiritual life visible, I am surprised by where I buried my skeletons. Many of the definitive choices I made regarding my character were made in the fourth grade. Did not expect that. These choices are tied to experiences that preceded fourth grade and I always assumed that my character flaws were fixed to that earlier time. Certainly those earlier experiences have great bearing and influence but the choices that set in place, what I see as negative components of behavior and psychology, I made in the fourth grade. These choices fixed the way my being is considered. The choices defend against things that already happened, and as such, can not be defended against, fixing in place behavior and disposition.

Working to improve my condition it is these definitive characteristics that have focused my attention. I am rather self involved, a result of this collection of fourth grade decision-making, an ineffective way to protect myself from what already happened. Now as I grow into this evolving stage of my life I need to find a way to unravel this needless defense and find comfort in my public spirituality. It is helpful to discover the choices, seven in all, but what to do to break their spell? Somehow this Mystic Tourist writing project is getting that done. A simple matter of will, an exercise in perseverance and commitment. To know what work remains, an unnoticed product of these forgotten choices, fixed by time and lost to place, as a phantom haunting possibility; return all hesitation affecting success to the time to which it belongs dissolving an untenable place. Kind of like returning a bottle for its redemption value.

The path that I believe in is providence, I know of no other place. Providence assures that the one thing, at any moment, that best serves purpose, is always present. The task is to arrange the condition, of the moment, to realize the appointment of providence. Doing this unravels and discards the needless yarn considered to be the fabric of life, leaving only the naked truth. This path, of which I am fond, providence, brought me back to the fourth grade by way of an invitation to join in a reunion. The forty-five year reunion of my eighth grade class. I originally joined this group as a fourth grader and then graduated eighth grade with them. The invitation to join in the reunion presented the unexpected discovery of a treasure trove of phantoms, demons and assorted disgruntlements for which I had long been searching. I am still not sure how to reconcile with the phantom I created, born of decisions made fifty years past, but writing this is immeasurably helpful and I remain confidant that the Mystic Tourist Project will somehow close the deal. I also have a new-found gratitude and respect for this wonderful group of people I first met in the fourth grade.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Driving Lessons

The Kaleidoscope of Now

I have been working on this post, these few words, for seven days. It was pretty tough as my inclination was to dance around the issue. Avoid it with needless text. Pretending a nonexistent problem. That is how the post first took shape and I sent it to the trash. My curiosity has been realized and I am happy with the finished work. I hope you will be as well.

Deciding the conditions that are true, that establish as factual, true expression, anyone can accept.

Writing about spiritual realities only completes a commitment to express an account of my experience. The next step demonstrates spiritual presence. Living spiritual realities. Expressing what has spiritual relevance in concert with the needs of being animal, being a spiritually present animal, demonstrating spiritual ability. This is the next step, to mend the animal I am, proving spiritual importance. This step involves finally finding the courage to be known even to myself. Only after ceding my animal identity to be the temple that houses my spirit, who, what I am, without the animal, does my purpose find expression and the animal become the expression of purpose. What decisions remain unfulfilled giving restraint and keeping my person short of completion? I have looked to the future searching for the memory of the way I prefer to be now. I have arranged my past to embrace the future I desire and yet there remains a divide. Is it something to do with now that has yet to be understood? I think perhaps it is.

Now makes itself express what is true, a true representation of where we are. Deciding to make my private spiritual experience public introduces unfamiliar concerns. It may well be the animal I am sees in the public stage I am fashioning, something unsettling. A choice, or choices, of a future yet to be known. To realize the person I am, in this divine sense that drives me, the future is already known. It seems that the future holds a secret, something I have yet to choose. It could only remain secret due to my refusal to accept it. I am fraught with preconceptions about what this might be, have been for decades, and that clouds perception, true sight. While I can not choose what is unseen I can choose to see it. Perhaps that is what remains. Am I broadcasting into the future unfounded fears and if it is a future I choose, what is there to be afraid of? I think I know this answer. I believe the confusion lies in the unfamiliar territory of inviting the public into my private life. It is as if I am holding my eyes shut against the future that awaits me, pretending I do not see. I have the memory of a storm, pieces of the future and pieces of the past but the storm is no more. I can rekindle it but I think not. One moment I am at ease and then the next, not so much. What will be remembered about this will be remembered now and the past and the future will remain as one.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012