The purpose driving The Mystic Tourist is to flesh out my spiritual life in the public theater. Coaxing myself into the open. I have had to slay a few beasts on the way, personal demons and the like and am beginning to feel much less self-critical. My casual intuition is showing signs of life again. The ability to write about this stuff, my blogs content, is due to being familiar with it. It is the stuff of my life. My goal has always been to restore my casual spiritual experience, it fell off the truck when my marriage went up in flames in the mid 1990’s. It was easy to blame my spiritual path for that failure, but it had nothing to do with it. I wound up replacing a fulfilling spiritual experience with hardship and times were hard. The marriage was a failure from day one and all that was left for me was the commitment, to put everything I had into it, I did. In the end I felt quite bankrupt and my ex used my investment to try to ruin me and my children. We are fine but you can not behave like that and be alright, so she is not. I wish her only well and continue to hope that she will begin a course of good decision-making, for her own well-being.
Casual spiritual living. This is what I have worked to get back to. As long as I have known who I am I have known that I will one day have to make my public life, and my spiritual life, the same. As I look back today I see that I was more open than I have given myself credit for. Many people, in the community providence arranged for me, knew of my spirituality. The place that providence has arranged, and where I find myself this morning, is not the selective openness of my past. It is a world without walls where discretion is openness. Never been comfortable with that but this work is building that wall-less world and I am beginning to know a sense of comfort and ease. This is the place I am building. A place where my spiritual companions can stand. Before they will stand, I have to be comfortable with it. I see spiritual realities and as I look for what remains to be done I am not sure if I have a wall yet standing, a door to open, or just what. Something remains and a part of me is still inclined to threaten me. The voice of protest hoping to dissuade me from openness. Oh well, I am sure I will conquer that as well, but not without your help. As much as writing this blog has nurtured and produced my growth those who read it have done as much. Thank you for your patience. I do think I will get to the point one of these days. Love to all and to all my gratitude. Building a public place for spiritual reality to be known requires the element that is ‘public’ and I am indebted to you.
Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012