Mission Statement

My spiritual quest is about divine living. I am no holy roller. I am driven by the spiritual concerns of life. It seems to me that if anything is durable it is spirit, certainly its temple of flesh, blood and bone is temporary. People have long been aware of spiritual realms and opinion about matters spiritual span the whole of imagination. For me personally I know that whatever spirit is it is observable, that if a person is inclined to experience the world of spirit it is likely they will.

I have no faith. The only text I consider sacred is the self and providence is the only guide to spiritual growth. If this is not enough then there is no worthy spiritual task. Instead of faith, I have confidence. Things are as they are and that can be observed. I have long believed that I am here to make an example of this. To live the divine life. I believe in magic. I believe that everything you see and experience is produced by it. I believe you are its master, just as am I. I believe in creation, that it happens all the time. It is what is constant. Now. All that might be, all that has been, every possibility is contained in the only moment that anything ever happens, Now. Now is creation. Now is magic. You are its master.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist, ©2012

Correcting Fate

The past, the future and now. As a boy, many years ago, I withdrew and gave a sense of sadness bearing in my life. Today I have no use for this and my choice, if I had it to do over,  would be a different choice altogether. In the years that followed withdrawal I built the social identity, or person, supported by this bearing. Now as I work to be comfortable and more engaged the socially withdrawn person I became is looming large. This awkwardness is internal and it presses me back in time to reconsider how I chose to be. It is a matter of perception. I can view this same past differently and it actually is different. If only it did not feel so much like work, but it is work, as the person I created is threatened by change.

At an earlier time in my life I did not have to go so far into my past to correct the mess I had made. As a young man I was very determined to ruin my life and I did, three times. While I sat and considered my ruined life for the third time, I changed my mind and changed my life. It was powerful. It was a spiritual experience that was profound in every way. It was also very personal, a private joy. I kept that appointment and it served me well but its time is past. Now I am thrown back in time to this much earlier crisis, a time when I chose to withdraw, to be sad. I must bring now to bear on that time and in so doing change the past.  It is not much fun, in fact it is pretty tough, the sadness, the anger, the pain, all the nasty stuff around my choice to withdraw, that is what is on my plate. Somehow I am expected to create the person I might have been, to present a fate today, that would be different had I chose it when I was ten. I have done this kind of work before and the effort was well worth it, but none the less, it is hard.

When I decided, at age twenty-nine, to no longer work to ruin my life it was a richly rewarding experience but it was also very personal. Private. Anyone who knew me at this time, of course, did notice the change. It was nothing short of extraordinary and none could have expected it. At that time there was no reason to retreat so deep into my life, to this time of withdrawal, when I was ten. My spiritual wellness today depends on making my private spiritual life publicly known and that brings this issue of withdrawal forward.  I can only guess as to what will happen when I am comfortable with my internal social identity and this sense of withdrawal has lost its bearing. A fate corrected, I expect it to be very powerful.

I have decided to be more reliant on Angels and Ascendant Beings toward this end. They have the power to change the subtle structure, the nature, of acquaintance. There is an element of trust that is evident in reliance on Angels and Ascendant Beings. I think that may be the missing ingredient in the change I am working on, trust.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist, ©2012

Spiritual Comfort

The future is the past and every bit as predictable. This is because the future only lasts long enough to become the past. Today, as I consider this, I see remnants of my past suitable for a future mired in the past. Suitable only for repeating what is best changed. Of course there is purpose in that; Change. In my past, as recently as today, I spend much of my time beating myself up over my spirituality. It is an internal conflict that I am working to change. To build a past and a future where this conflict does not exist.  The time in my life that is free of this struggle is the time I spend writing. I imagine it is the personal nature of my work, that afterwards, makes me uncomfortable. Having yet to break through and be fully at ease with myself, I am reminded of that and my discomfort is repeated. The only thing I am really trying to do is be comfortable with the spirituality that drives me.

For me, spiritual living is much too personal for religion. This was obvious when I first understood my mystical, spiritual nature, at age seventeen. I knew then that the only path before me had no material support. I was entirely on my own without even so much as a text to guide me. I have no choice as this is how I find myself to be and I am very driven, but by just one thing, mystical spirituality. Religion has no place in this and so I am a secularist. As a result I have long had a sense of isolation. Even now as I write there are echos of rage about finding myself this way. They are distant but still as a siren beckoning me. I have corrected most of the injury in my past in my quest to, Be Here Now, at ease and comfortable with who I am. That is the only future I seek and when I have accomplished it, any success I want is mine. Unless I am dead I am sure I will realize this.

It is worth mentioning that the only way I have avoided being comfortable with the person I am is by creating that discomfort. All of the work I have had to do to fix this is the work I created for and by myself. After all that effort, it becomes a prize a person wants to hang onto, all the while, the best way to hold it is to let it go.

What holds back me now may well be in the future. Something about it that I see, something that triggers a reaction and past tendencies clamor for attention. I do not know. I believe I have corrected the places where I have kept injury and so perhaps the time to see and choose the future has arrived. To see it with eyes wide open and invite it to Be Here Now. I hope so.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Kaleidoscopes and Other Moving Things

Precognition. Most people believe that precognition is out of reach. While some believe that a few are gifted with clairvoyancy others believe that any such claim is fraud. The product of wishful thinking, delusion or just everyday fraud. Personally I do not understand how anyone can deny seeing what is clearly right in front us, the future. Additionally the future lasts for such a short time, as to be without measure. While we are considering what it might be it is busy turning itself into the past. I think they are the same thing and except for ‘now’ there is no change. We create the future and while we do this, we create the past. It is, I believe, the element of creation that escapes our grasp. We create but we deny responsibility for it. It is that absence of accountability that allows us to imagine we do not see what is right in front of us. There are many moving parts and none of us create the future alone, it is a community project. I do think that clarity, in these matters, requires preparation and that there is no secret or sacred text to point the way. The only sacred text is the self. We each hold the secret and yet none seem to want to share, so it remains secret.

Preparation is the key to success and finding the desired future. A person might invest in a traditional education and plot a career. A predictable future reveals itself over time. I could go on with more examples, perhaps an example of poor decision and failure, but it is easy to see that the future we realize is a product of what we choose to do. It is also obvious that there are other factors at play. I think we see them. All of them. It is a lot to take in and making sense of it takes preparation. As I see it there is a place to be that adjusts the kaleidoscope of now and all is revealed. We are no longer in the position ‘to take it all in’ but rather are taken in. No longer in the position of ownership we surrender and are owned by who and what we are.

This is the world as I see it and the preparations I make are metaphysical. Does that work? I think so, and that would seem obvious or I would not waste my time. The example of education, or failure, is also an obvious example of metaphysics.

I look to do things to change the way I am and I see a shift in the way I have been. The past changes because I can no longer consider it in the way I always thought it was, due to simple perception and the determination to correct it. Yes I believe that creates the future and that it is possible to settle the past enough to know the future as we do the past. To actually be in the place that is defined only by now.

Now is a kaleidoscope unless we can let go of everything but now. We look at now usually from a distance, stuck in the past or the future and the lens of now is a kaleidoscope. Confusing and unclear. If we let go, of all but now, the alignments of this magical kaleidoscope reveal all as it is, and clarity is the gift. The secret it reveals is our self. In working to be where these alignments make sense we see what we have to do to make that happen and we travel back and forth through time, correcting the self time has presented us with.

In considering why I do not have a better interpretation of what the future is, and demonstrate it through action, I am left to accept that I am doing that now by creating the past that will support it. I am not one so much for seeing the tree but I do see the forest, as if it is tea leaves to be read. When I let it tell me its own story, I will see. When I project what I expect, from the past or the future, now is lost and the familiar kaleidoscope reminds me of the place I expect to be.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

A Brand New Past

I have a brand new past. I just got it yesterday. It is so new I am not sure what to do with it or how much change will come from it. I can feel the change but that might be just a passing novelty. The simple charm of being new.

Yesterday, I was working on a post I called ‘Writing the Ship”. Having arrived at the sourcepoint of the rage I have known as an adult, I was dumbfounded, without any idea of what to do. I decided to write my way out of it. I outlined my anger, what I have always known it to be. For most of my life I have sought to solve this anger, to be finished with it and writing the Mystic Tourist Blog brought anger to the forefront, the problem to solve. It stems from a place in time and my work brought me to that place. Having found myself in this angry place everything was irritating. I was not angry but I was at an angry place. I wrote in great detail what about what has made me mad. Boring. Something was missing and through the day I discovered that I had misunderstood my anger. The rage I had known was as a suit of clothes and I had mistaken the person, in the suit, for the rage I wore. If I was not angry about the things I have been so sure were the cause, for over forty years, what then was the anger about? Well I answered the question and forgave myself. I then found another point in time, more recent than the angry sourcepoint, a time that corrected the structure of what I had gotten so upset about, and it is all gone. A brand new past.

IMG_2495

I will never be able to consider myself the same again and the past I have known is forever changed.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Odds and Ends

Allow the value of living for liberation and self realization through secular mysticism to establish the contentment my life has long desired. End the conflict enjoyed and celebrated throughout my life and begin my true purpose. Starting with self-degradation; end it. Admit that I enjoy being mystic and end my lifelong campaign of outrage at being mystically inclined.

Well that would be a fresh start.

This does seem the crux of my conundrum and certainly the task I have toiled at for many years. Even as I struggle to end my sense of outrage it remains a pivotal structure in my life. Why? This is a riddle I have worked on since 1981. In that year I had finally had my fill of unchecked rage against myself. Against being mystic. It was a poor investment that increasingly looked like it would not result in the consequence I had in mind. The intent of my rage was to cause the end of my life, by attrition, or force an intervention from God. My thinking was that I did not chose or want to be mystic and so the rage would somehow amend that. I expected the reckless nature of my life would, through attrition, cost me my life or God would decide it was time to intervene. Foolish? Well rage does not bring out the best in a person. I do not know why the rage is still there. Perhaps the effort, twelve years of rage, has given me this gift. It is not very nicely wrapped but the binding seems quite secure. It is likely that, held captive by my decision as a young man to rage, is a key. A linchpin keeping this package of rage intact and my effort here, as the Mystic Tourist, has allowed me to return to this earlier time and change the past. I would so love to get this done. I have worked at for nearly 32 years. Perhaps the 33rd year has some numerological charm.

I do tend to be upset with myself over something pretty much all the time. Not that I think I should be or that I think I have a reason to be. It is a product of the disrepair my life fell into at the end of my marriage. A condition that has been steadily improving for a good time now as I root out the recesses of my life where unhealthy habit is able to take hold. It all has purpose and as long as I follow my discomforts to a source, it really does not bother me. There is great satisfaction in discovering how and where stuff like this can get stuck in a person’s life and then rooting it out. Each success is very gratifying and my quality of life appreciates markedly. I am happy with my life. The upset is just a tool for spiritual growth. I did lose it, this sense of being upset with myself, for a number of years. That was a time when I could not do the work that is getting done now. I do think it unlikely that I would know the progressive success that has been my life today if it were not for the calm and satisfaction I knew in those years. Those years of spiritual calm and satisfaction were not free. I worked very hard to get there and it was extraordinary. Having known such satisfaction I was surprised at how far I could fall, that there was still so much work left for me to do. How can I complain if my life needs work and I am given the opportunity and wherewithal to do it? In this post I am sharing the way I find the work my life expects me to do. It is not a complaint but an observation. It is work that produces results and I am glad to do it. Today as I look at my life I know who created the mess I have been cleaning up, I did it all by myself. One of these days I will have cleaned it all up, the rage will once again be gone. I will get up one morning and have finished this work having stood up the life I expected, something satisfying and fulfilling like the work I am doing to get there.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012