As It Always Has Been

The Next Step

After realizing the obvious, that I have already made my beliefs publicly known, shared my experience of spiritual reality, I am ready for the next step. To be comfortable about it. I had imagined that I needed to be open about my spiritual reality and that would somehow restore my spiritual health. Obviously I have succeeded, but I only just realized it. I have exposed a great deal about my personal experience. Anyone who finds this blog can read about it. I have already succeeded in making my life public and yet the prize of restored spiritual relations eludes me. Or does it? The only difference between thinking that I have succeeded in exposing myself, or, thinking I have yet to do it, was telling myself that I have. Admitting success. Even though it is obvious.

If the difference between my sense of having succeeded, or, still having to work toward it is telling myself that I have, then perhaps my spiritual life is the same way. A simple admission that it is alive and well. As it always has been. Now that I have realized that what I have been struggling with, toiling to complete, is already done, it is clear that something else remains. Something other than what has already been accomplished. The continuing struggle to do what I have already done is a silly ruse to fool myself. I succeeded at this some time ago. The only thing separating me from my timeless spiritual acquaintance is a sense of comfort and ease. This contentment, self-approval, comfort, it is the next step and the only thing I have ever had to do.

The time I have invested in exposing myself has been time well spent. In doing that I exposed a lot of dark places in my life where I might hide myself and presented it instead in broad daylight. For anyone to see. Now I need to be comfortable about it. That would be brand new territory for me. I hope it does not take as long to find that zone, the comfort zone, as it has to realize that I long ago succeeded at exposing myself. I suspect that my work to open myself up has facilitated much of what I need to be comfortable.

I did fall from grace. Life, I considered it to be overwhelming. Unless I think it is, it is not. I know these things. I understand metaphysics, the basic structures of existence, of being and sentience. I have used that understanding successfully for decades. So why have I done this to myself? This fall from grace. Perhaps I needed to prove my humanity before my soul can fit into this tired old suit and make an example of the spiritual heritage we all share. To be here now, the only time that exists.

Micheal, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

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