Drinking My Way to Enlightenment

I recently I conducted an inventory of sorts. In a muddle, I wrote my way to a better understanding of myself. Prior to my break from blogging, the time I spent conducting my inventory, I had managed to connect the Kundalini and that was exciting. I have connected the Kundalini before, but this go-round, is dissimilar to the experience I have known in the past. The connection that is the Kundalini brought into focus the disorder in my life and I quickly fell to the task of sorting it out.

For some time I have struggled with my habit of boozing. I like to drink and rekindled my drinking habit in 1999. I decided to begin a habit of drinking everyday. It was part of an overall effort to reconnect with my extended family of friends. It has been a long time since I realized that success and I am now well grounded by way of friendship. When I made my decision to drink, I expected that I would one day have to scuttle the habit and that day has been realized. While I do enjoy drinking, I prefer to be sober. If only I could do both.

I tend to be a person of extremes and so when my habit is everyday boozing, I tend to drink more than some people would think is prudent. I can and have moderated my habit to accommodate my excessive tendencies. Moderate drinking, by me, tends to be a lot of drink by some standards. Previously when I quit drink things were quite bad. Literally having ruined my life, and drinking being a big part of that, the decision to quit was one of last resort. Pretty easy. It also forced me to address the underlying cause of much of my habit at the time. Pain management. I had compacted my seventh thoracic vertebra and broken my neck in two different motorcycle accidents. I had ignored these injuries and done nothing to rehabilitate myself. To deal with the pain, I drank. I measured the strength of my drink by the strength of my pain. It ruined my life. I quit and spent two years out of work rehabilitating myself. The injuries were a direct result of my recklessness. A determination to force God to intervene in my life, by some kind of spontaneous enlightenment, or for attrition to end my life before I had lived long enough that I would have to take personal responsibility.

My drinking habit of late is by some standards excessive but it is in no way comparable to my youthful foolishness. At my age, drinking as much now as I did when I was young, would leave me destitute, unable to be socially productive.

Quitting without a crisis is a different animal. My decision is just a matter of personal preference. Instead of having a drink, I decide not to, over and over again. A bit tedious. All of the idiosyncrasies of my person continue to support the habit I invested so many years and my reputation in. I have every reason to believe that they will be replaced by a person more to my liking and healthier habits will emerge. That is happening and it is easier to keep my growing resolve as time slips past.

My habit has been to drink in the evening and I have been wanting, perhaps, a tea to enjoy instead. I finally did shop for tea. I first just looked at straight herbs and was lost. I stumbled across a blend, in the herbal tea aisle,  that had Kava Kava in it and then I thought, oh, Kava. I chose bulk Kava Kava to make my tea. Very nice. After a few days I remembered the therapeutic application of Kava in treating anxiety and that changing my boozing habit is an obvious trigger for anxiety. I am quite pleased with my choice and the tea is very nice. It has a texture and flavor that is soothing.

What I have noticed, since I put down the bottle, is the counterproductiveness of my boozing habit. I had imagined it was a way to relieve stress at the end of the day. Nothing could be further from the truth. It simply reinforced the expectation that the day was stressful and that I was in need of relief. In this way it caused of much of the stress for which I sought relief. Absent the decision to drink, I find that I am also absent  much of the imagined incentive.

I had become isolated from friends and the support that accompanies friendship. Drinking was a way for me to prioritize those relationships by being less spiritual in my affairs. I did make myself known again as a rather ordinary sort enjoying the party and the good time. In the end booze was creating more stress than it possibly could relieve and my friendships had always been independent of it. It remains to be seen what impact its absence will have on my overall well-being. Will it be instrumental in restoring the richness I once knew in my spiritual life?

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

Solomons Key and The Kundalini

Winning the lottery. Tonight’s Mega Millions Jackpot is $99,000,000. The lump-sum payout is about $26,900,000, after taxes, and that works out to just under $10,000,000 when divided by three. When I play the lottery, I plan on winning, and giving two-thirds of it away. I know that $10,000,000 is more than I will need to live and pursue my interests. I do not always play. I wait until it is in excess of $60,000,000 and even then I do not necessarily play. It has been some time since I have bothered and if it gets too big, I lose interest. It is not about the money.

I have always thought, why not the lottery? Even when I was young it seemed the obvious way to succeed. Beyond that, I came to believe I would win, even when there was no lottery, and, in the twenty-eight years of the lottery, I have not won. I still believe, and so, occasionally I play.

In science we know that light travels at a known speed. This allows us to look into the past, at least in so far as the our solar system and the universe are concerned. The future is very predictable. Things grow, it’s predictable. Things move, it’s predictable. We plan for war, it’s predictable. There will be a drought, it’s predictable and on and on. People imagine things, and predictably, create them. When I consider winning the lottery I think there is a way to see it beforehand. How? I work with metaphysics and spirituality. These areas of expertise are plagued and fraught with subtlety. When the subtle structure is true, there is clarity, perception, understanding and passage.

We can consider our human condition similarly to light. We can see into the past and the future is predictable. An individual is not alone and none of us are separated from the past or the future. Both tenses are entirely present in the moment and all of humanity is represented in each of us. All who will be and all who have been. This is where subtlety, for me, is most vexing. We are all creative and constantly creating, none of us do this alone. How then does a person realize the integrity of personal authority and create accordingly? After all, the creative collective of humanity is at best chaotic and that is our creative environment. How do we set aside the chaos and restore clarity? It would seem that with clarity chaos is naught. What appears to be chaotic is an illusion, albeit one that we tend to be trapped in and work to perpetuate.

There can be no separation between chaotic creativity and creative clarity, we are one community. Out of the apparent chaos, the community gives rise to creative clarity, much as an individual rises up within their person to find clarity, success. Metaphysically, spiritually I look at this using the template of the Kundalini. I have studied the Kundalini, as a metaphysical, spiritual tool, at length. It is what I call a mysticism, in other words, I have not read about it. Mysticism for me springs from providence and is entirely empirical. My understanding of the chakras, and the Kundalini, is from personal experience. I have flipped through a picture book and read, at best, a few hundred words on the subjects. Additionally, I believe there are such things as mystical keys. The one I am drawn to is the Key of Solomon. I believe I know what it is and fundamentally how it works. The center pillar of the key is the Kundalini. When the Kundalini is realized, it is as a pillar that supports a temple the centermost part of which is the Key of Solomon. It is an actually place and a way to be. It is clarity and the magic that has long been attributed to it is a myth. That is of course because it is no more magical than everything else we do. Everything we do is magic. It is our nature.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Which End of The Telescope

When confined to the realm of the lower chakras, people are an obstacle and we are one with them, one of them. We congregate by our emotional response to how we have been conditioned. This congregation of emotional reality serves to bind us to be the subject of judgement and to judge. We entertain this condition emotionally and rationally, building connections that bind us to the lower chakras. It can only end if we connect the lower chakras to the higher chakras.

Even after making the connection the binding that we dutifully built will remain.

The first task, after reaching the higher chakras, while still bound by emotion, judgement and condition to the lower chakras, is to embrace being bound this way. What needs to change is the way we respond to the judgement we previously bound ourself to. It is this response that allows the binding to relax releasing the self into the higher chakras, or conversely, to allow the lower chakras to pull us back down. I was able to rise to the higher chakras by considering, self-respect, self-control, opportunity and optimism. Self-respect and Self-control granted passage to the fifth chakra, Sea of Justice Seat of Truth. This position of Truth allowed Opportunity to open the sixth chakra, Light Gate and in turn Optimism opened Spirit Gate, the seventh chakra. Now, as I consider this, the pull of the lower three chakras works to restore its grip.

My first attempt to relax these bounds has been ineffective. What to do? There was a time that I enjoyed a relatively secure continuity of the seven chakras acting as one. That was a different time and I realized it by releasing the aforementioned bounds, thus allowing the self to rise. I think there must be a different expectation of me now. Something along the lines of reverse engineering. To build the path from the top down, something resembling an out-of-body experience. To provide the connection I established with self-respect, self-control, opportunity and optimism and allow osmosis to do the rest. I think this must be it. I can see the emotional soup of judgement and conditioning swirling around me, as if to swallow me and pull me under. The screams of Devils and Demons. The ridicule and taunt of Satans. The imposing expectations of both agreement and disagreement born of our human community. These are the things we typically ignore as we bind ourselves with ignorance and deny the obvious, hoping to fit and be like the rest.

This time, as I work to restore the temple by realizing its central pillar, the seven chakras of the Kundalini, it is a time I think to simply bear witness until the clamor runs its course. Without adding my voice there will be no conversation and the place I am will quite. This I think must be the purpose, to change the conversation, but this time from the top down.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Humanization of the Mystic

The chakras. I have discovered that the binding of my seven primary chakras, as one, had been compromised by a dearth of optimism. Rationally, I knew to be optimistic and had assumed that would suffice. This assumption, that knowing the importance of optimism sufficed, as being optimistic, was so casual that it was nothing more than ignorance. I had not thought about it. Such is the way life lives us while we imagine we are living life. Life has a lesson for us to learn and then an application, or appointment, to test our condition. The absence of optimism, my ignorance of it, was as the log in my eye while I tried to see the speck. I could not see.

This corruption of optimism was seeded in my life nearly two decades ago, during a time of crisis, much of which was beyond my control. I let that overwhelm me and I retreated from my best option. An option that did not seem available. I could not see a way to avoid an extended period of misery. Misery that someone else designed and intended for me. My failure was in seeing things in this way. The life I expected was to be ruined and I was charged with salvaging the lives of my children from the wreckage. That all came to pass. Had I considered this without a sense of misery and wreckage, I would have kept optimism intact. I did not and optimism fell from my list of concerns. My adversary had intended to destroy me and was in a position to realize a good measure of that. I have yet to recover financially and that has been tough, but now, I have found my discarded optimism.

Rationally, I had not blamed anyone else for the challenges I faced, but without optimism, that is a moot point.

So now what? There is a visual aspect of mysticism, I can see the spiritual world. I have seen it, but not for some time. I get glimpses of it, yes, and the memories are a pillar of strength. It is the fleeting glimpse and the memories that have kept my resolve intact. Now with optimism, I have seen my home again. It has brought the higher chakras to, place/flesh, the first chakra. It literally turns on the light – the sixth chakra is Light Gate. When the awareness of the lower three chakras rises to the seventh chakra, Spirit Gate, you can see the spiritual world and the Kundalini is complete, the chakras united as one. The fourth chakra is Compassion, it is the bridge chakra that permits the union of the higher and lower chakras. Turns out that without optimism it does not work. Go figure.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Inventory

Today as I take inventory, consider the effort I invest in my wellness and my condition of being, I accept that I have succeeded. I have had a very rich and satisfying spiritual experience. That time of my life was a private time that I shared only with close acquaintances. Now I have tackled a boogeyman, I have shared my spiritual aspirations. Exposed myself to whomever might have an interest. Where is the bridge that binds these two times of my life together as one experience here and now?

When I decided to create this blog I did have a plan. I thought if I conquered my refusal to be spiritually open, that would restore my health. That my spiritual life would once again thrive. I thought that was the bridge I needed to build, or discover. What more do I have to do? Where are my spiritual companions? What veil separates me from the spiritual richness that was once familiar?

This lost familiarity is where it can be realized by admitting my dislike of self. I dislike public recognition of my struggle. I do not think I should have to struggle. Truth is this struggle will continue and that is what upsets me.

This notion of dislike and struggle is an observation revealed by divination. It is true I continue to beat myself up and just why continues to elude me. The work I do to correct this condition is very informative. I consider its value to be indispensable and powerful, however, the sense of repair is short-lived and I find myself wrestling with the same discomforts repetitively. I have many tools to riddle such problems. I am well-practiced with metaphysics and I will guess that perhaps what seems a struggle to me needs to have a new consideration. I can not dislike what I have to do and be happy, glad. Am I being charged to find the joy and happiness I knew privately and make that public?

Having a rich spiritual life privately is not the same as doing it publicly and there are things about it that I have yet to learn. It is not the same and I suspect that the results are different. In matters of spirituality and metaphysics, my path and the problem I am trying to solve now, I will consider the Kundalini.

I am confidant that I have opened the channel. I do not consider the flow to be very strong. Light Gate is cloudy and that suggests an issue with its corresponding chakra Acquaintance, Acquaintance being the second chakra and Light Gate being the sixth chakra. The whole idea of the Kundalini is to bridge the three lower chakras to the three higher chakras by way of the fourth chakra, the bridge chakra, Compassion. Compassion first comforts the three lower chakras and relaxed they can seep through compassion and its attributes to the fifth chakra Truth and Justice or Sea of Justice / Seat of Truth. A person who endeavors to rest on this seat then recognizes a truer understanding of the corresponding chakra, the third chakra, Ego. Compassion is the lubricant that allows this to happen. Should Ego be accepted on truer terms then that produces a measure of enlightenment and Light Gate is made available. Light Gate corresponds to Acquaintance, the second chakra and of course the lubricant that binds these two, is again, Compassion. Once accepting Acquaintance and Ego on the terms dictated by Compassion, Truth/Justice and Light/Awareness, the seventh chakra, Spirit Gate is available. Spirit Gate corresponds to the first chakra Place/Flesh. Conception and Birth. This channel, The Kundalini, is the cycle complete. When we open it, rid it of clutter, soul meets form and mystery is no more. The simplicity between clutter, or not, is so delicate that we only recognize the difference after we succeed.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Temple of Now

Life shifts and twists as I work for openness. All preparations are being fulfilled as I challenge myself to be completely honest, to walk in the open. There is much complaining within me, protesting, fretting… The raising of concern! It is a big distraction and without merit. I am as I am. I see what I see. I do wonder if I know something that gives rise to my protest, a fate so true to destiny that it will not be avoided. Our history is filled with stories of people who suffered unjust fates. No incentive there. So incentive lies elsewhere. I am confidant that my spiritual health is tied directly to openness. Naked honesty and I am still a little uncomfortable with that. While I have known this day would rise it did not used to be this way. When last my life went under repair, the time before this, it was a spiritual project as well and the rewards were extraordinary. For the most part I could keep it private. It was easy to remain discreet and find people to share my experience with. They were few and I felt safe. That path no longer exists as I am given a new task. It is increasingly clear that this is the way as it is the only way I have found growth. The growth is refreshing and I am finding my spiritual legs once more. With a new task there are new lessons and with the lesson, a new application.

In that past repair I learned a lot about the Key of Solomon. Maybe it is something else but I know it as that and so I will continue to refer to it as such. What I have learned about it in the past is not enough to turn it today and so I am learning to understand a new mystery and secret. Openness is the grease for this wheel, this new lesson, steadily and surely freeing the movements. I can not reclaim the comfort past and so I must look to this new lesson. I can actually see this thing. It is a place, like a temple and a portal. A spiritual place. People think of it as magical but magic does not exist unless all is magic, as I believe it is. Nothing happens except by it. Call it creation if you like, it is the same thing.

I have been working with the Kundalini, puzzling my chakras to see if something is amiss there. The Kundalini is as a pillar and it seems intact, in proper order. It acts as a channel and as I look through it I see myself at a much younger age. The Kundalini is also the center pillar of the Key of Solomon, Providence. Providence passes through the axis that is Now where it is joined by Abundance and Fate. The intersection of these three lines, at the moment of Now, is foundation, and around that is the Temple of Now or the Key of Solomon. It is an actual place. As I look in on myself as a child I begin to see that the child arrived from elsewhere, a new passage I now see. I believe the comfort my child and I seek is through this new-found passage. As I consider it, it generates powerful images and I imagine the passage is active.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Basic Magic

Now. Now can only be appreciated by isolating the moment we first knew it. When we see the person we were when Now was present, when the question was, will we do what we are given to do, Now, then we have returned to that place. It creates a tunnel, much like the eye of a storm and we see our self as we were, and, as we are, Now, once again considering the choice… Will we do it Now? There may be any number of times when the question presented itself and when we recognize any one of these we are here Now. Should a person want to reconsider their appointment, whatever it is a person is given to do, the one thing that completes and brings the best value, solves the puzzle; providence provides the way. We discover that whatever it is that makes it possible to reconsider this question of Now is presented and we get to make the choice again. As I consider this question, this morning, I am returned to my four-year old child and the choice he made concerning what to do Now. The choice he made created a history that I have lived since then. That is basic magic and we do it all the time. Spiritually, a four-year old is establishing their second chakra. It is Acquaintance. Acquaintance first of course is family but then naturally community branches from there. The tunnel I see between these opportunities to choose Now, is, ‘as I was and as I am’. It presents itself a number of ways and one of these is the Kundalini.

Today in my life I am charged with making my spiritual life public and I do it with this blog. My spiritual journey is chronicled as a daily journal that is this blog. It is the vehicle for my personal growth and the restoration of my spiritual health. This is a public blog and so the issue of, Acquaintance, the second chakra, is at play. The tunnel between – as I was and as I am – is illuminated by way of the Kundalini. Each of the chakras has a symbiotic relationship with one other  chakra and then by that association with all the other chakras. Light Gate, the sixth chakra, and, Acquaintance, the second chakra, have a symbiotic relationship. The light that fills the tunnel between the sixth chakra and the second chakra is of course from the gate. Light Gate, the sixth chakra. I am not comfortable being so public and the light will dissolve that should I choose to restore the seven chakras as one, the pillar in the temple of Now that is also the central pillar of Solomon’s Key. Yes it is the Kundalini as well.

I have said that I am uncomfortable being so open, so public, and I am. So much so that often, as now, it feels as if I can not do it and yet I know it is what I have to do. It is extremely emotional as whatever has been broken is being healed. If I do not do the writing I can not process the squirm that I feel and usually I feel very much better on completing a post, even if just briefly. No such feeling this morning. I see the spiritual world. I do not know why, but I do. I am sure that I have to share this and so I am doing it here with you. Thanks for your company. It means a lot to me.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012