Spiritual Awakening

My ability to be independent, free and resourceful, unburdened by the hand of restraint, has found a new lease. I have renewed my commitment to opportunity, restoring possibility to my sight. It had been beyond my sight, a distant horizon and all I needed was to stand. Easier said than done. The burden that pulled me down did so incrementally. Employing just the moment; persistent, constant, unnoticed. The product of my long-held betrayal of self, now informs me. These burdens always collect in the lower chakras and when they pull us down, we establish norms and habits that perpetuate and reinforce their permanence. The lower chakras are, at best, poorly lit.

Back in 1981 I came to believe I would win a lottery in California and that would be the means of my financial security. Not very helpful. There was no lottery in California at that time, only the constant talk of, maybe, someday. Idle chatter across the populace. In 1984 the voters of the state passed proposition 37 and on October 3 1985 the first drawing was held. I am still confident that I will win the darn thing, but not by some luck. There is a way to understand it. To be honest I would rather have some different notion than imagine that such a thing is possible and that I should pursue it. I do not waste much time or money on it. I only play if the jackpot is in excess of 60 million dollars and then I buy three identical tickets so I can easily give most of it away. In the meantime I pursue more traditional career paths. That is not working out very well either. The cost of living has outpaced my means.

Today I am able to be open about my mystical sensibilities without hedging against the hostile intentions of an intimate acquaintance. I have managed to restore myself spiritually and expose myself in the process. I suppose that is some sort of notable benchmark. I wonder if it is? I have long suspected that my overall success was tied, first to my spiritual life and secondly to living spiritually publicly. I am pretty sure I have restored my spiritual posture and I have done that very publicly. Now I shall see if I can walk the walk. If I can it is a Brave New World because I have not done it before.

I believe the world is magical and we are magical beings. That nothing happens any other way. It is the norm, the way things are, what we are doing all the time. Call it creation if you will and that we are creative. This belief leaves me with one incentive; to live that way. It is the way I live.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

A Vacancy of Optimism

In wondering what might be amiss in my life and looking to divine an answer, I was directed to seek the counsel of an ascendant being. Someone from the eighteenth century, a historical figure, but I had no idea who it might be. I decided I would find the person’s name by Googling eighteenth century historical figures. From there I chose the ten most influential figures and discovered James Watt. I asked James to help me and he did. Thanks James.

You are thinking, what is an ascendant being? Some people refer to them as saints, I do not care for the term as it implies superiority and that to my mind is a lie. An ascendant being is simply a person who is no longer repeating the cycle of incarnation. They have not so much escaped it as thy have come to understand it. They have resolved their ego to also be their soul. It is an act of forgiveness, but forgiveness needs to be for the self. Not some other self, but yourself. If you can forgive that person then you are done and you have forgiven all for everything.

I have been a bit self-deprecating but I have not understood why. Like any bad condition, without correction, it just gets worse. That is no accident, just natures way of focusing our attention. I have tried all sorts of things to curb this poor habit of thought and have expected I would somehow turn a corner and get past it. On working with James I was directed to restore hope to my attitude by replacing self-deprecation with optimism. Well that makes perfect sense. I had lost my sense of optimism back in 1994 and 1995 and I needed to return to those times to release the emotional anchors that bound me there. After I did that James advised me that I needed to identify four words that would replace my history of self-deprecation. Optimism, self-respect, self-control and opportunity. Wow, works like magic.

Of course I did not realize that I had forgotten to be optimistic, had I realized that I would have changed it a decade or more ago. Thanks James, you were a huge help. Now let’s see what I can do with my life. Is this the turning point I have been working toward?

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Vacancy of Now

The future already exists. It must exist because it consists entirely of the past. Our experience of it is skewed by our life and death. We tend to cling to false importance. We want to secure some lasting value but our animal condition will not last. We seek ownership, of something that will demonstrate our value, and that is a contradiction. Ownership is a lie, nothing can be owned. We confuse ownership with things like responsibility, accountability, honesty, forgiveness, truth, compassion and understanding. Stuff that actually has value. These values make a purchase of themselves and their value is in their generosity. They afford no pride of ownership as they are for the equal benefit of everyone and everything. None of these qualities are the sort of thing a person can take ownership of, they are their own value.

How then to make the future absent the difficulties of the past? Typically people will engage in established norms of education and employment, we will strive to establish and maintain nurturing relationships, friendships. Much of this only severs as a distraction, a mask for our sense of vacancy. I guess everything is like that, and for me, I believe that happiness and contentment can be discovered and their value then produce the trappings of success. Success is measured differently for different people, but happiness and contentment bring success to all circumstance and so if we discover those, before we set out, whatever we do, is success. I think many of us believe we need external trappings to be happy, we set out to secure those and worry about contentment and happiness later. Many of us are just naturally content and happy. For me, I remember a time of great happiness, a time past and so it must also be in my future, because, wait for it… the future is made of the past. I am happy today, especially when I write. The happiness I lost was that of a young boy. It is hard to imagine being that happy, but I was. What displaced it?

As a young man, I made some very poor choices. I expected to end my life by attrition. It was my way of flipping off God and the elements of society that fell short of my expectation. I considered it performance art and expected it to convey some deep meaning, a message of outrage to humanity for its shortcomings, I had an anger I simply could not contain toward God. I did not like being mystic, and, I could not escape it. I abandoned education, failing to graduate even high school. To this day I am unable to motivate myself scholastically. I am still motivated, only by mysticism, devotion to God. In my sense of God, anything that alludes to God is of an absolute nature and so devotion to God encompasses everything, all concerns and relationships find their completion and satisfaction by the absolute context of devotion to God. I do think there is something about mysticism that is of value, that my pursuit of it will bring me the success I need to live comfortably, affording the food and shelter that I desire.

It is strange to be in pursuit of my interests, of the life that motivates me and not be so angry about it. Imagining that could actually build something of value with it. Had I made these investments forty-four years ago, where might I be now? Oh well, I could not do it then, I was just too angry. Why? Did I have to go through all of it, all the trouble I made for myself? Perhaps I did.

Let us hope it is not too late to salvage the worldly success that was the promise of my birth circumstance and that I so forcefully worked to destroy.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Mystical Money

My decision to make a business using mystic creativity has created a shift in my disposition, as if I finally decided to fit the round peg into the round hole. In the past few months, I have been irritable. I believe that everything has purpose and the purpose of my irritability is to draw my attention to its underlying cause. As the passage of time has drawn me closer to the realization of using my creativity for marketing purposes, to sell merchandise, I am both sure that it is what I have to do and dismissive of the idea as implausible. Irritability. The disposition that brings cessation to my irritability is the decision to go ahead and develop a market. Having poured considerable thought into this idea I have finally put a little money into it as well. I have researched options for manufacturing merchandise and ideas for marketing are beginning to gel. The thing that has, at least for now, curbed my irritability are the steps I have taken to actually set the business in motion. I now have a fictitious business name and have applied for a business licence. Having taken these steps my irritability seems to have evaporated, disappeared. Hopefully this exercise in psychology will also produce a worthwhile business adventure.

What exactly is mysticism? Is it unique to people like me? Am I somehow different? I see mysticism as what we are all doing. Each of us walking in the dark, on our way to where we already are, hoping to realize some lasting value or meaning in exchange for our experience, our existence. A person like me, who is mystic, believes wholly in providence. I live a life dominated by God. I need to accept everything on God’s terms, believing that providence is the guiding hand of God and it alone will satisfy me if only I observe and follow its direction. So what do I think of God? I think God is, or, God is naught. It makes no difference as things can not be different than they are. No God worth knowing could be offended and I have no fear of God, only reverence. I let God define God and am not the least bit concerned about what the definition might be. I believe that what can be considered absolute, is indicative of God and I hold those qualities to be of the greatest value. Compassion, Understanding and Truth.

As my temporal expression slips into the emptiness of time, lost to the past and absent in the future, I imagine that time is like a telescope, with but one way to properly function. The only lens that is of any value is now, but it is not usual for any of us to find ourselves wholly here now. Generally we scatter our self across the past and future, which don’t really exist except in one sense, they are the same thing and the only way to make sense of it is to be present, in full, now. The past and the future are the same because the past is carried into the future making it what is past. We create the whole thing in the only time that actually exists, now. When we are here now, creation is understood and being here now is a matter of alignment, like a mystical key. The alignment is also a process. An investment of time and choice. Actions and behaviors that build a way and place to be. A place that already exists. It is much different to do this privately than to do it publicly, the alignments are less familiar but I think it can be done and that it is what I have to do. I shall continue to puzzle it together and write about it here on my blog.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Definition of God

My beliefs run like this; I was born and raised Roman Catholic. My interests, curiosity and all of my personal drive are dominated by God. I have no interest in whether or not God exists or how God might be defined. I am sure that if I define God, then that is a God that I have created. I let God define God’s self without any interest in what that definition might be.

I am confidant that God is, or God is naught. Nothing can change that, my confidence lies with things being as they are and no other way. My devotion, to God, is such.

What about Jesus Christ? Jesus dominates my life as well. I am a mystic I think he and I have a lot in common. If there is any one person who is as a hero to me, it is Jesus as I understand him to be. He is my role model. I am certain that a woman gave him birth and am not confused as to how that happened. He was as you or I are, an ordinary human being and that is the power of his message. Those who make claims of his deity, have stolen his message and taken what they think is his power. They have profited and the church they claim was not founded by him. It is the work of others who came after him. If you or I would know what Jesus knew, we must take a similar path. That is the much alluded to, Way, Truth and Light. If we walk where he did, do as he did, we will be as he was and how else can we walk from our mothers womb to the grave?

I believe in absolutes. That if I consider what is absolute and work to incorporate that into my way, I resolve myself with God, because whatever God is, absolutes, must have their bearing there. I know of three absolutes and one gate that is also the narrow path. Truth, Compassion and Understanding are absolutes. The Truth is boundless, it knows no harm or injury. Even what is not true, a lie, gains its support from the Truth and the Truth remains unscathed. Compassion only knows a single measure and can not be exhausted. It also knows no boundary and we only need choose it to learn that. Understanding, there is nothing that can not be understood and all that is expresses that by its very existence. Nothing is organized well enough to exist without Understanding. It is absolute. The narrow path is Forgiveness and its gate is the opportunity to forgive. The key to the gate is the act of Forgiveness.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Discovery of Self

My last contribution to this blog was all the way back in July, a little over two months past. I enjoy writing so that represents a long time. I prefer to write everyday. Since my last work, an exposé of Satan, the five types of Satan of which I have personal experience, I have had sense of completion. Like having closed a chapter. This has left me not quite sure of what is next or how to go about getting that started. I have had a good idea as to where I am, the place mysticism has brought me, but how to present it, to lend it description? That has evaded me and now I have gained permission to find out.

Permission from whom?

The permission I seek is from my self, but he is a stranger. Elusive. I have seen him in the distance but could never quite reach him, until now. While we have heard of each other we are not well acquainted. The self wears no clothes, it is naked and transparent but this is not the person we choose to be. It is the naked transparency of the self that lets us manufacture a person separate from it while maintaining an ignorance of certainty that our actual self is naught. Our self is composed of inexhaustible patience and our person must discover, must know this patience, if it is to know its self.

Our self is both temporal and spiritual and takes ownership of nothing. It is the magician that creates and it knows no past or future. Our person longs for a future that can never arrive and clings to a past that is gone. That is naught. How then to make this one, my self, my counsel and quite the distraction of personhood? This I think is the next project for the Mystic Tourist. To write of this adventure and discover how it is done. Won’t you join me? It is a journey that can not take place without you. That is the point of writing this blog and forcing my ‘self’ into the open. My self is very comfortable with that but my person is not there yet. I do expect writing about it will bring my person into compliance with its self and whatever revelation that might present.

I am not particular about where this leads. It is something I feel I must do, that not doing it is the real difficulty. It is my sense of destiny that motivates me. It is very strong and not to be confused with fate. I have burned through a few fates. They are endless and we can choose any of them. I have but one destiny, that is what I seek. To choose destiny over fate.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013