Pantheism The Quest For Existence

Motivated by the struggle of community, as we question and strive to wring understanding out of uncertainty, I write. I write of my personal experience, certain that experience is something we share, something we have in common. I hope to produce a fresh perspective of our collective experience. Understanding. It is the question of our existence, of how is it that we exist and why, of what can and should we do, this is the understanding that concerns me and at some level it concerns us all.

In the seeming vastness of what we consider as existing, countless light years filled with empty space, innumerable planets, planetary systems and galaxies, I ask if it is not just a matter of perspective, and in truth, it is all quite small. We imagine that our intelligence sets us apart and qualifies us as superior. Are we? How unusual is intelligence? I see it as as common as the empty space that fills nearly all that we know to exist. Modern physics has taught us that the matter we consider as solid, is not. It is held together energetically. This simple reality is repeated over and over again in every expression of reality. In galaxies, solar systems and empty space. Nothing that does exist can exist without first understanding. There is a fundamental understanding required for anything to organize itself well enough to exist. An intelligence. It is present even in what we consider to be inanimate.

There is no space between us and everything that exists is a collective expression of our shared consciousness. The further we look the more we see, because we are looking. We are what has been created and as such can not be separated from our creator. We can choose independence and refuse to know our creator, and then, that is what becomes of us. Grist for the mill of creation. The spirit that creates, that permits your animated self-aware person, can be chosen. That decision is known as purpose and it is why you are aware of your existence.

The wormhole is now. It is creation and it is where the spirit that created us is.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2015

The Room With No Door

As a child, I knew, what the adults in my life imagined were imaginary friends. As an adult, I have had young children introduce me to their ‘imaginary’ experience. One such event stands out. At the time I was working with a crystal ball. It has been my experience that quartz often collects energy but this piece shed energy. It was very energetic but did not collect energetic imprints. I was visiting family and staying in a home with a toddler who had yet to learn to talk. She enjoyed playing with the ball and we played with it together. While doing this she was able to communicate with me. Completely nonverbal. Very cool. She wanted to know if I could see what she could see and she introduced me to a wild, very active, group of quite small energies. Like a bunch of tiny persons who were non-terrestrial, or at least, had no physical form. She clearly wanted to see if I would acknowledge their existence and I did. I have been unable to reach a determination as to what they were.

The child I mentioned is now a young woman, and while very imaginative, she has no recollection of her ‘imaginary’ childhood acquaintances.

What is it that separates us from this childhood reality that seems so common? Might this childhood experience be spiritual and might these spirits expect us to remember them, for us to invite them to join us as adults? I think they are and they do. It is as if we leave them in another room and then build a new house without that room. There is a casual joyful happiness that children often have that is uncommon in the adult world we make for ourselves. I think there is a relationship between the spiritual experience of young children and their often casual sense of joy and happiness. We are forgetful and we tend to leave both of these dispositions in our early childhood, usually forgetting we ever were this way and unable to remember the way. To replicate it as adults. Why?

I think much of it is cultural. Here in the west we conquered the shamanistic, earth-based, spiritual practices of our ancestors. Often with extreme brutality. We tend not to value personal spiritual experience and instead expect a socially centralized compartment for our spiritual concerns. We expect that our spiritual life is best-managed by others. That some authority, outside of our self, is in charge. We expect that we need the guidance and intervention of others to be spiritually content. We assign our spiritual well-being to false authorities, someone other than our self. I don’t know that if shamanistic sensibilities had won the day, that our spiritual concerns would be less centralized. None-the-less, western culture diminishes the importance of personal spiritual experience and places spiritual authority outside of personal experience. We are expected to rely on an external groupthink authority. We think the truth can be written down and fixed in place. Words, written or otherwise, can only hope to convey a thought or a feeling and are neither. Truth, to be of actionable value, needs to be personally experienced. It is the message that is not spoken or written down. Words allude to it but it makes itself understood.

How do we bring, into our distracted reality, a more comprehensive understanding of reality? As adults, we dismiss what we consider to be imaginary childhood experience. Having long ago dismissed, and forgotten, our own experience, as well as how to recover it, we enforce this norm against our children. It is an obvious act of ignorance, to dismiss such a common experience as being, not only imaginative, but also make-believe. We might first accept that it is an experience that is very common. These are real experiences but what is the cause? Do we generate the experience or is it a straight forward observation of what does exist? It has been my personal observation that it is both. Much of this spiritual realm, we create, by having been imbued with creative authority. The charge we are given, the charge I believe I am given, is to create a state that is suitable for my soul. To create a gravity, of my temporal being, that attracts the spirit that is my soul, a more durable representation of awareness, sentiency, being and existence. A truer me. It is this spiritual expression, my soul, that would have me invite it to be me. It wants to walk as I do in the company of men and women. The temporal person, I have created, to walk in the company of men and women, feels threatened, after all, what is it when flesh blood and bone are returned to dust? This anxiety, generated by our brief appearance as terrestrial lifeforms, is then as an armor that shields us from our soul. We feel threatened.

I am beginning to think that the path to the mountaintop is happiness. To restore the happiness that embraced me as a young child. This happiness resides in the same place that I knew as a child. It is not so much a memory to restore as it is a place to return to. Its residence is not fixed to time and it waits for us to return, or to create, the gravity by which it is known.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

An Empty Promise; Fulfillment

As I take my spirit walk, working to reconcile my temporal nature with something more complete, something spiritual, I write. I rarely have an idea other than to write and I discover the content of my work just as you do when you read it. When I am not writing content for this blog, I am still writing, writing what could only be helpful to me. I do write plenty of social-political content and that all winds up, for the most part, on Facebook. I love to write. I realized, by way of my awkward writing ritual, that I needed to be very direct about my relationship with God. To write of it here on my blog.

What is this God? How do I explain God? Certainly much of my blog answers these questions and yet I have come to believe that being more forthright is required if I am to grow into my appointment, the elimination of potential by way of realizing it. Writing as the Tourist I have hoped to avoid building a box and calling it God. It is not our place to define God. God self-represents and so definition is needless. Pointless. The definitions we have given God have created God. A God in our image and likeness, a false God.

To my mind, It seems that cognition, sentiency, awareness, being, the ability to appreciate experience, are as is everything else of which yourself, myself, everything is comprised. I believe that these conditions are independent of physiology. That like everything else that is, they are. My temporal form is not required and these qualities are manifest in its absence. I believe in creation. I believe it is what is. It is the only thing that ever happens, it is constant and perpetual, infinite. There is no end to it or beginning. Without it nothing exists and every, any possibility, is known because of it. We are imbued with its authority and that greater authority is of God, or perhaps, God also is of that authority, yet we are not the greater authority. I believe, that of the ability to be self-aware, there is what is like, but is not a human person , and that it is God. That, God existence, would know us and would that we would know it. It seems a person might empty their self in such a way as to be with God and I have spent my life swinging back and forth between thinking I will make this discovery, or not be bothered. I am always pressed with the urgency of this decision and it dominates my life. I have found that I am happiest when I pursue it. I spent twelve years being outraged; I thought it was outrageous that I should be dominated by such sensibilities as a sense of devotion to God.

Ego is the fundamental challenge in knowing God. Perhaps God has no ego. Ego is not inclined to be empty, it wants to be full as well as to fill the circumstance that is its place. The emptiness that is, can not be filled, and ego then makes the effort to fill it a waste of its time. You can take nothing with you when your time is spent. There is a desperation in that and ego is keen to express it.

Some spiritually minded people believe the ego must be defeated, destroyed, if enlightenment or spiritual fulfillment is to be realized. I do not. I believe it must be reconciled with origin and destination, to be in a state of approval, contentment, of satisfaction. To be without want, content with what is. Poverty nor wealth matter. The law is of abundance and all conditions support it. When we let go of everything that fails to fulfill us we are left with what does.

Such is my consideration in matters of being with God. There is no possibility of making this an accomplishment and that is difficult for the ego. The ego must reach a state of acceptance, of letting what is be and of being what is. To abandon the effort of making more of it or making ruin of it. Either posture is that of ownership which we all know is naught. We leave life as we found it taking nothing but rather we give to it. We give what we have created as that is our only authority.

When I think of fulfillment, as a human temporal presence, I look to be divine. To be what is incarnate, as well as what animates us and yet is not incarnate. An awareness of self that precedes and succeeds the brevity of my so-called life.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

God Is Not A Mystery

God

Secular Mysticism; Faithless Confidence in God.

When I write that I am without faith, I am being specific. I am without religious faith. My faith is of a secular nature and is a confidence entirely and only in God. I believe in God. My life is dominated by God. I trust no dogma concerning God. No God I would care to know needs an intermediary and those who claim God does, implied or otherwise, are undeserving of my trust in this regard.

This God, whom I claim is my singular devotion, who is this God? I consider that God is inescapable. Even if God is naught, then that is the God that can not be escaped. It is not possible to remove yourself from the experience that is God and so I think God would know each of us personally. Directly, without intermediary, so I know God. We all do.

Like all people, influence runs roughshod over my life experience. I consider the influence that fills my life to be born of Providence, that is to say, it is directed by God, and through my devotion to God, this is how it has shaped me.  I am a Taoist, not because I have studied it but because that is the nature of my life. I live that way. I was raised a Christian under the auspices of Catholicism. I believe Jesus was as I am because that is the only Jesus that makes sense to me. Time alone, is what separates me from Jesus and so we are the same. He made an example of how any person might live. That was his purpose, his example and expectation of me. I do not believe the words, of others, who tell me who and how he is. I am confident that whatever he did, the same might be expected of any of us and so I live as if it is.

Did God create me? I believe God gave me permission to create myself and there is expectation in that gift, an obligation, or appointment to be kept. Only in keeping my appointment do I stand with God. I have not always been keen on keeping my appointment but I am making the effort again. I think that what each of us is capable of is largely ignored, and I, have a history of taking that as a personal insult, of being angry. The world we live in, the way things seem, we create. We are imbued with creative authority. We each use this authority, collectively for the most part, pretending all the while that we do not. This would be our primary, or original sin, ignorance, and the message Jesus endeavored to teach us. We are as he was and that is made clear because a woman gave him birth. There is no mystery in that.

What do I think of the stories that tell us Jesus performed miracles? I think they are stories. I do not believe in miracles. I believe if Jesus did, what people call miracles, that it was an example of our true nature. An example to emulate. Something that he considered ordinary, something anyone might do and so he did. He set aside his ignorance and the denial it creates. With that out-of-the-way he behaved as anyone else might, or, it is just a story. Fiction. The truth concerning this can be known, not as an exercise of sophistication, but rather as a matter of acquaintance. Knowledge, in matters spiritual, absolute truth and the like, is always by acquaintance and never by sophistication. The Tree of Knowledge is known for its sinful fruit, usually referred to as good and evil, but I have come to understand the fruit of this poisonous tree to be right and wrong. Right implies ownership which always corrupts the true nature of knowledge which is always, as a matter of truth, merely acquaintance. Right also creates wrong, it must because it does not exist without it. That is the nature of the Tree of Knowledge whose seed is ignorance. You can also read of the Tree of Knowledge in the Book of Genesis. I would not recommend it but as a reference I mention it.

It has been some time since I have added to my blog, not that I have not been busy, I write daily. Writing is a tool for my personal growth. It is always personal and at times unsuitable for publication. Of late that has been the nature of my writing, unsuitable for publication. I seem to have been taking a spiritual inventory that can serve only me. I hope to be back to The Mystic Tourist and wherever it leads now that I have made this contribution. We shall see. For a blog post this one is considerably longer than I prefer and so I will leave you with an apology for that and my hope to make regular, yet brief, contributions as we go forward.

Micheal, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

Spiritual Awakening

My ability to be independent, free and resourceful, unburdened by the hand of restraint, has found a new lease. I have renewed my commitment to opportunity, restoring possibility to my sight. It had been beyond my sight, a distant horizon and all I needed was to stand. Easier said than done. The burden that pulled me down did so incrementally. Employing just the moment; persistent, constant, unnoticed. The product of my long-held betrayal of self, now informs me. These burdens always collect in the lower chakras and when they pull us down, we establish norms and habits that perpetuate and reinforce their permanence. The lower chakras are, at best, poorly lit.

Back in 1981 I came to believe I would win a lottery in California and that would be the means of my financial security. Not very helpful. There was no lottery in California at that time, only the constant talk of, maybe, someday. Idle chatter across the populace. In 1984 the voters of the state passed proposition 37 and on October 3 1985 the first drawing was held. I am still confident that I will win the darn thing, but not by some luck. There is a way to understand it. To be honest I would rather have some different notion than imagine that such a thing is possible and that I should pursue it. I do not waste much time or money on it. I only play if the jackpot is in excess of 60 million dollars and then I buy three identical tickets so I can easily give most of it away. In the meantime I pursue more traditional career paths. That is not working out very well either. The cost of living has outpaced my means.

Today I am able to be open about my mystical sensibilities without hedging against the hostile intentions of an intimate acquaintance. I have managed to restore myself spiritually and expose myself in the process. I suppose that is some sort of notable benchmark. I wonder if it is? I have long suspected that my overall success was tied, first to my spiritual life and secondly to living spiritually publicly. I am pretty sure I have restored my spiritual posture and I have done that very publicly. Now I shall see if I can walk the walk. If I can it is a Brave New World because I have not done it before.

I believe the world is magical and we are magical beings. That nothing happens any other way. It is the norm, the way things are, what we are doing all the time. Call it creation if you will and that we are creative. This belief leaves me with one incentive; to live that way. It is the way I live.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Shifting Gears

I support myself as a self-employed window cleaner. I began this occupation as a temporary solution to my employment needs in 1983 and now it seems there is something about it, in my future, that I need to modify. I wrote about future concerns in my last post “A Chip on My Shoulder”, the idea that as we create our past it creates our future, much like plotting and planning a trip. Futures then become fates that draw us toward them by their gravity. Much of what is fate is subject to change, we control it. It seems that there is a gravity concerning my window cleaning that would be better if I changed it. I will be better served by a future independent of window cleaning.

I have long wanted to remove window cleaning from my future but as yet, I have no replacement.

Here is the idea; I will see if there is a market for merchandise related to my blog. Tee shirts, mugs, that sort of thing.  It is not a new idea. I had imagined that I might develop such a market when I started my blog. What is new is the sensibility that the time to explore such a market has arrived. The tension and irritability, I have recently been writing about, spirals around this shift in economic strategy. How to go about it, and of course, a good helping of self-doubt as to whether I should bother or not. The self-doubt is a moot point, the fate that is this change has already created gravity and motion.

I still have a few things to do prior to marketing anything. I will file for trademark protection and I will need a fictitious business name to conduct business. I will need to set up a bank account and make website preparations. Those are incidentals, I have a good idea of what I want to do beyond that.

So why write about this? It is just what is going on with my life and my blog. I live my life as a mystic, finding my way in the dark. This is part of that as is everything I do and my blog is as a chronicle of my mystic experience. My life.

I do believe that my work as a mystic has created a shift, that I have riddled together a foundation of sorts and a new stage for my life is emerging. I expect to flesh that out, here on my blog, but as yet it remains a mystery to me.

Thanks for reading.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Discovery of Self

My last contribution to this blog was all the way back in July, a little over two months past. I enjoy writing so that represents a long time. I prefer to write everyday. Since my last work, an exposé of Satan, the five types of Satan of which I have personal experience, I have had sense of completion. Like having closed a chapter. This has left me not quite sure of what is next or how to go about getting that started. I have had a good idea as to where I am, the place mysticism has brought me, but how to present it, to lend it description? That has evaded me and now I have gained permission to find out.

Permission from whom?

The permission I seek is from my self, but he is a stranger. Elusive. I have seen him in the distance but could never quite reach him, until now. While we have heard of each other we are not well acquainted. The self wears no clothes, it is naked and transparent but this is not the person we choose to be. It is the naked transparency of the self that lets us manufacture a person separate from it while maintaining an ignorance of certainty that our actual self is naught. Our self is composed of inexhaustible patience and our person must discover, must know this patience, if it is to know its self.

Our self is both temporal and spiritual and takes ownership of nothing. It is the magician that creates and it knows no past or future. Our person longs for a future that can never arrive and clings to a past that is gone. That is naught. How then to make this one, my self, my counsel and quite the distraction of personhood? This I think is the next project for the Mystic Tourist. To write of this adventure and discover how it is done. Won’t you join me? It is a journey that can not take place without you. That is the point of writing this blog and forcing my ‘self’ into the open. My self is very comfortable with that but my person is not there yet. I do expect writing about it will bring my person into compliance with its self and whatever revelation that might present.

I am not particular about where this leads. It is something I feel I must do, that not doing it is the real difficulty. It is my sense of destiny that motivates me. It is very strong and not to be confused with fate. I have burned through a few fates. They are endless and we can choose any of them. I have but one destiny, that is what I seek. To choose destiny over fate.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013