Spiritual Awakening

My ability to be independent, free and resourceful, unburdened by the hand of restraint, has found a new lease. I have renewed my commitment to opportunity, restoring possibility to my sight. It had been beyond my sight, a distant horizon and all I needed was to stand. Easier said than done. The burden that pulled me down did so incrementally. Employing just the moment; persistent, constant, unnoticed. The product of my long-held betrayal of self, now informs me. These burdens always collect in the lower chakras and when they pull us down, we establish norms and habits that perpetuate and reinforce their permanence. The lower chakras are, at best, poorly lit.

Back in 1981 I came to believe I would win a lottery in California and that would be the means of my financial security. Not very helpful. There was no lottery in California at that time, only the constant talk of, maybe, someday. Idle chatter across the populace. In 1984 the voters of the state passed proposition 37 and on October 3 1985 the first drawing was held. I am still confident that I will win the darn thing, but not by some luck. There is a way to understand it. To be honest I would rather have some different notion than imagine that such a thing is possible and that I should pursue it. I do not waste much time or money on it. I only play if the jackpot is in excess of 60 million dollars and then I buy three identical tickets so I can easily give most of it away. In the meantime I pursue more traditional career paths. That is not working out very well either. The cost of living has outpaced my means.

Today I am able to be open about my mystical sensibilities without hedging against the hostile intentions of an intimate acquaintance. I have managed to restore myself spiritually and expose myself in the process. I suppose that is some sort of notable benchmark. I wonder if it is? I have long suspected that my overall success was tied, first to my spiritual life and secondly to living spiritually publicly. I am pretty sure I have restored my spiritual posture and I have done that very publicly. Now I shall see if I can walk the walk. If I can it is a Brave New World because I have not done it before.

I believe the world is magical and we are magical beings. That nothing happens any other way. It is the norm, the way things are, what we are doing all the time. Call it creation if you will and that we are creative. This belief leaves me with one incentive; to live that way. It is the way I live.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Psychology of Faith

The comfort of religion is born of faith. It stills the turmoil of question and wonder, giving it a reservoir where it can be kept safe and not trouble us. We turn to faith when life’s difficulties give rise to doubt. We make it our resolve and forgo the question, taking comfort in an answer that is faith. It is a path to confidence that frees a person from all sorts of troubling details. A person of faith, will form the rational supporting their faith, into a structure that protects faith, isolating faith from challenge. A fortress in which faith is fortified and faith also has a community. The faith-based community is a source of strength and support providing exclusive opportunity. Displaying the symbols of faith sends easily recognizable signals and opportunity falls in your lap. Faith gives us psychological tools by which we defend and promote our self. These tools plug us into a larger web of supportive cultural psychology. All of this lends a person resolve and confidence.

Faith is as a shortcut to confidence. Confidence does not need it but faith is useless without confidence.

Does faith help? Is it good? I think it depends on the individual, pretty much like everything else. When a person is rigid in their belief, I think that their faith has injured them. Blinded them. When the person of faith is flexible, that individual taps into something much deeper. Something true. It is not their faith so much that they value but the tenants of it that allow flexibility and accommodation. To be accepting without judgement, a truly supportive person. Each person, whether they have faith, or not, chooses the tenants of their character and I think faith is as valuable a resource for building a respectable and admirable character as any other choice. After all, good people are needed in the faith-based community, just as they are needed everywhere else and you will find them there.

Some of the most remarkable people I have ever known draw their strength from their faith. These are people who are admired by nearly everyone they know. People who are as an anchor, giving community a bearing of durable value. Of course the opposite is as true. The empty drum does make the loudest noise and some people of faith, just aren’t very nice. Judgmental, pious, self-righteous but you do not need faith to be an ass and faith really has little to do with it. Poor behavior, by a person making a show of their faith, gives the faith-based community a black eye, but it shouldn’t. Behavior is particular to the individual.

Me, I have no faith. I just believe things to be as they are. Things can only be as they are, there is no other possibility. Everything is self-evident and can be observed. To me that is God. I am aware, I am a cognizant sentient being and I do not believe that cognition, sentience or awareness depend on physiology to exist. I think they exist with or without it and that we create reality. Creation is a constant and we have creative authority.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Mystical Money

My decision to make a business using mystic creativity has created a shift in my disposition, as if I finally decided to fit the round peg into the round hole. In the past few months, I have been irritable. I believe that everything has purpose and the purpose of my irritability is to draw my attention to its underlying cause. As the passage of time has drawn me closer to the realization of using my creativity for marketing purposes, to sell merchandise, I am both sure that it is what I have to do and dismissive of the idea as implausible. Irritability. The disposition that brings cessation to my irritability is the decision to go ahead and develop a market. Having poured considerable thought into this idea I have finally put a little money into it as well. I have researched options for manufacturing merchandise and ideas for marketing are beginning to gel. The thing that has, at least for now, curbed my irritability are the steps I have taken to actually set the business in motion. I now have a fictitious business name and have applied for a business licence. Having taken these steps my irritability seems to have evaporated, disappeared. Hopefully this exercise in psychology will also produce a worthwhile business adventure.

What exactly is mysticism? Is it unique to people like me? Am I somehow different? I see mysticism as what we are all doing. Each of us walking in the dark, on our way to where we already are, hoping to realize some lasting value or meaning in exchange for our experience, our existence. A person like me, who is mystic, believes wholly in providence. I live a life dominated by God. I need to accept everything on God’s terms, believing that providence is the guiding hand of God and it alone will satisfy me if only I observe and follow its direction. So what do I think of God? I think God is, or, God is naught. It makes no difference as things can not be different than they are. No God worth knowing could be offended and I have no fear of God, only reverence. I let God define God and am not the least bit concerned about what the definition might be. I believe that what can be considered absolute, is indicative of God and I hold those qualities to be of the greatest value. Compassion, Understanding and Truth.

As my temporal expression slips into the emptiness of time, lost to the past and absent in the future, I imagine that time is like a telescope, with but one way to properly function. The only lens that is of any value is now, but it is not usual for any of us to find ourselves wholly here now. Generally we scatter our self across the past and future, which don’t really exist except in one sense, they are the same thing and the only way to make sense of it is to be present, in full, now. The past and the future are the same because the past is carried into the future making it what is past. We create the whole thing in the only time that actually exists, now. When we are here now, creation is understood and being here now is a matter of alignment, like a mystical key. The alignment is also a process. An investment of time and choice. Actions and behaviors that build a way and place to be. A place that already exists. It is much different to do this privately than to do it publicly, the alignments are less familiar but I think it can be done and that it is what I have to do. I shall continue to puzzle it together and write about it here on my blog.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Matrix of The Possible

I believe that we are spiritual beings snared in a web of ignorance. As spiritual beings I believe we have the authority of creation and the web that is our ignorance is our creation. I believe it is possible, and that occasionally, a person discovers the trick to walking in the realm of ignorance while being immune to it. Free of the normal constraint that is our agreed condition and creation, ignorance. This can only be done by using the magic that is ignorance, our communal agreement of constraint, to prove the truth. Everything is magic, nothing exists outside of its boundless influence. We are the masters, the authority, the creators of the reality we share. By the authority that is God, we create. We are imbued with creative authority by God but we do not name God. We are the creation that creates. We name and the name defines what is, we do not name God. It is God who names us and we in turn name and create. None can name God. God is self evident, even if God is naught.

The past and the future, I do not believe in them. I believe in creation. That the past and the future are constantly being created in the only known time, now. Nothing has ever happened at any other time. So what shall we create? This is something we do together, none do it alone.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

 

How To Be Who

I am not the way. I am not the truth. I am not the light. I am the door. I am the window. I am the gate. I am. However I consider myself, that is how I am. It is different from who I am. Who I am has a single desire. Who I am has endowed in me the authority to create. It desires that I should create who I am. In that way, how I am, becomes who I am. It is intended that they should not be the same. That how should be chaotic, unless we choose something different. In choosing who we are, over how we are, we let go of all that is naught and how becomes who. This simplicity lacks the complication we are so fond of and we feel threatened by that. It’s OK, it is supposed to be that way. It is the mystery we entertain ourselves with. Of course each of us is fully aware that there could be no mystery, after all, we do exist, we are sentient beings. It should be obvious that nothing could exist without first understanding. That is the only way anything can organize itself well enough to exist. What we see, what we experience, we create, not because we are God, but because we exist and we are aware of it.

Who is; the much maligned or much revered soul. It all depends on whether or not you think you have a soul. I never used to give it much thought. My soul was always cast in the most impossible of scenarios by those who would have me save it, if I failed it would spend an eternity in hell. That is pretty damn harsh. To teach me a lesson god (I never the give the hideous god who would design hell the respect of capitalization) would send me to a place so unbearable, so hideous, that only eternal suffering could convey it. A place so awful that a person could only survive it because god would have it never end. Fine. Let that god go to hell. Neither one of them exist except that we have imagined them. As for my soul, I can not possibly save it, it saves me. I, the how of who I am, must choose it.

Why do I write with such authority? Presenting myself as understanding the things I write about. Do you have faith, certainty that things are as you want them to be due to religion or some other construct? Perhaps you are an Atheist and presume yourself as having no faith. Why? Are you sure, as I am, of what you consider to be true. I write with authority on these matters because I have considered it at length and tested it to the best of my ability. I have stepped beyond the social norms to see what I can see for myself and am reporting it here on my blog.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Valley of Shadows

I have operated on the principal that if I just keep plugging away, sudden realization would be inevitable, and, confidence born of success, that is itself success, would be revealed. Imagining the spiritual landscape, I already find myself in, as success, is quite different. The confidence I seek is to be comfortable in my spiritual skin. Specifically to be comfortable in the spiritual shadow-land occupied by temporal spirits. Where doubt and shame, ridicule and embarrassment, reign. I refer to the expectation found in human sensibility that doubts spirituality. Many are sure that timeless beings of spiritual constitution are nonexistent and our realm of temporal spirits is populated with the spiritual equivalency of that certainty. That is because we are spiritual beings in a temporal reality. As spiritual beings we are by nature creative and our temporal spiritual landscape reflects the collective product of that creativity. The most prevalent disposition concerning our spirituality is ignorance and we blissfully deny the spiritual condition we are in as well as our authority regarding that condition. The spiritual influences we create in turn produce an agreed upon perception of reality. Forty three years ago I decided I would not share my understanding of our spiritual nature. How I see who we are and who I am. My attitude was; Let someone else do it, why should I bother. After all it is no secret. The path is clear for anyone who would take it. In a world where people ignore who and how they are I was angry that I could see it. Worse than that I was driven to pursue it. I wanted nothing to do with myself or the world I found myself in. Why bother?

That rage did tear me up but I managed to survive. I do think that at times destiny is stronger than death and we survive what would otherwise kill us. To my amazement, I, like many others, have survived.

While recovering from the worst of my behavior, a motorcycle accident, I finally took up the mystic person I had always been and tried it on for size. If it had any merit it would prove itself. It did. That time is over and I fell from my spiritual comfort zone. The path I have chosen to restore it goes through the shadowy valley of temporal spirits. To walk in the open as a spiritual being. When I was last faced with this choice, forty-three years ago, I decided to rage against all creation, until by attrition I was dead. It did not work but the temptation to take up that rage again remains strong. After all, nothing has changed, I am faced with the same question; Will I take a spirit-walk as a public figure? To make an example of our true spiritual nature, in a very public way. Time will tell that story best and I still have some left.

Anyone who has been reading this blog must know by now that I write to prod myself into the open. To force myself to let go and simply be here now. Even if I have put it off too long and fall short, this is worth it. I am the same as you and anyone can see as I do. Someone else will do it If I don’t. I feel that much of my writing is circular, the same story over and over. I apologize, I really should get to the point and just do what I am here to do. Take my spirit-walk through the valley of shadows. Invite the spiritual beings who have no temporal origin to join me. They are very comforting, I know this from personal experience, but if I am not comfortable they can not join me. I am as yet undecided about it. I am looking for the decision that will change that.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist, ©2013

All is Good All is Well

Am I troubled by agreement? In my recent post, Chalkboards and Other Dark Places, I wrote of self-hate. It had been a problem that built into a climax until I was reduced to dealing only with that. I wrote of spending seventeen days working to sort it out and rid my life of it. That worked and now as I return to blogging… it is coming back. It seems I may have an issue with agreement. I am troubled to be seen as someone who has occult knowledge. That tension makes it difficult for me to share my experience because I tend to start beating myself up and that is distracting. I did learn a couple of tricks to quiet the self-hate mantra that had become so irritating. A subtle affirmative correction that proved to be very powerful and that may help guide me to a place of comfort and ease.

I really like my spiritual experience. It has been and is fulfilling but for some reason sharing it triggers a hostility within myself, toward myself. Writing calms that hostility but after posting a blog entry the pull to beat myself up over it is very powerful. This has been a tough nut. Short of cracking it open, and solving the mystery, it festers and pollutes my life all over again. If I can not understand the trigger I am confident that it will find places, in my past, to take hold and self-hate will repopulate my life. Everyone’s life is fertile ground capable of growing damn near anything. What is this determination to do this to myself?

I imagine it has to do with expectation, my expectation of what others expect from me. Having made that observation it seems obvious that any issue I might have about expectation would have to be about what I expect from myself. What can I possibly do about someone else’s expectation except to do something about my own?  That is probably very easy to fix. A simple affirmation ought to do the trick. What I learned when addressing this issue of self-hate, my recent correction of it, is that the affirmation needs to be spot-on. You see I had been working with an affirmation to deal with the hate for some time. When the notion of hating my life would pester my mind, I would tell myself, ‘I love my life’. Completely ineffective and that was surprising. After rooting out all the places that hate had taken hold in my life I found that the affirmation that dissolved this tendency was ‘All is good, all is well’.

Affirmations are powerful metaphysical tools and I have had great success with them. At this juncture the application of this tool is somewhat different. For years I used affirmations everyday. I would divine some affirmation and then over a few days fine tune it. When I started doing this I would create ten affirmations and throughout the day repeat them. Over time I would move on to a new list. Eventually I think I reduced the active number of affirmations I practiced to three. The difference now is that the affirmation I need is a little more precise. In the past these tools were more like a diet that promoted health, now it seems like I need affirmations that extract a condition rather than create a condition. The true nature of the injury in need of extraction needs to be identified if there is to be any hope of success.

I will try this affirmation; All is good. All is well. Doing what I like best, sharing the secrets of spirituality, of life’s mysteries, brings success. All is good. All is well.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Anchors Aweigh

Established norms present every lesson revealing success; Providence

For most of my life I have imagined myself a victim. That decisions made on my behalf, by others, when I was young, had cast my life in a way that left me injured. Naturally this did trouble me and I have plotted and pondered some way to get around it ever since, thinking there must be some way to consider things differently. Certainly I am in control of how I see and consider myself. All these years working to solve this riddle have finally done just that. I have considered myself a victim, all the while imagining that I can not be a victim except by choice. Having this knowledge, of course I am not a victim because I know better. It has been a conundrum and now I know why. It never was the decisions made on my behalf that cased any problem but rather the decisions I made about what others did. My choices fixed as problem-some, a stage in my life. Well that act is over now and the episode has a new bearing in my life. I have discovered that the choices I made, after the fact, fixed in place, a problem to be solved. Problem solved. This early life challenge is now a riddle solved and no longer serves to anchor me to negativity. I think that fixes quite a few things. It corrects an error in disposition and returns authority to its true seat. Correcting this place allows every choice to have a new bearing and purpose stands corrected. Relief after so long is powerful and I can consider every moment of my life in a new light. I have rid myself of a useless engine in my life and emptied burden from possibility. A freedom I have sought for a lifetime is now mine. I feel as if I have so much room, that I have lifted an anchor and am ready to set my sail.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Where Is Now and How Do We Get There?

A person is comprised of the way interactions with others are considered by the person. In considering what our acquaintances see when they see us we fashion our interactions. Hidden in this is the reality that it is only our perception of how we are perceived that determines the way we consider acquaintance and how we think we are considered. These considerations are our person. There are many variables and moving parts that determine our person but this interface, is fundamental. What we think about is what we are. We, our persons, are built of thought. Just as is the world that we imagine ourselves living in. We also see the building blocks required to exist at all. We use all of this to try to fix, something more permanent. As if there could be something more permanent. After all our appointment is brief. If only we knew what to do?

I think we imagine a progression that simply does not exist outside of our imagination of it. That imagining makes it real and makes it possible to manipulate what is real to more closely resemble what is true. Doing this, a person begins with the fundamental considerations of self already mentioned. We must own the person we are without pretending we are as others consider us. There are many ways that this interaction is considered, or ignored. We project the person we consider our self to be, work, family, habits and behavior, and make assumptions as to how we are considered. Another personality type might internalize how he or she thinks they are being perceived and then make an impression of that in acquaintance. For the sake of brevity I will not try to imagine all the various ways different types play their hand. We do. It seems clear to me that we are aware of the true structure of creation as well as our role in staging reality. Then I have two questions; Why don’t I take more responsibility for it, express it? Why is the pretense of confusion (denial) so stubborn, and, what to do about that?

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

My Fourth Grade Demon

I have recently been reconnecting with the class I graduated eighth grade with. At the time this began, this reconnect, I was working on restoring my child and early childhood joy and happiness. I was using an affirmation that involved using love as a door. Nearly as soon as I started this project, this reconnect with the child I had been, I am contacted by my eighth grade class. Some people like to call that coincidence but I call it providence. What I thought I was looking for was not to be found where I was looking, but this invitation, to reconnect, revealed where I had hidden it. What I was looking for I found between grade three and grade four. I thought I would find it buried in the grief I knew in grade one.

You see they held me back in grade one. I passed the class, no problem, but my brother Bob was being held back in grade two. He had no problem passing his class, what the hell it is second grade, but he thought school was fun. The nuns would not tolerate that. I was absolutely miserable through second grade and they decided I should spend a year at a public school. I really enjoyed first grade, the first time round, and third grade was a blast. I was sent to St Raymond’s in fourth grade for the remainder of my primary education. I could not have been more disappointed. Did these people, making decisions on my behalf, have any clue? No. I never again enjoyed school. I made no effort but was bright enough to pass easily without it. I landed in a college prep program for my lack of effort. Before I could get through four years of high school I had been to two very good schools. Got thrown out of both and am still without a diploma. It is needless to say, but I have made some very bad choices.

That brings me back to my quest to find my child and his assorted joys and happiness. I discovered what I was looking for (I do all this by divination) was a demon. The demon I found has hidden in this recess for all this time. Like all demons it stays busy working to make someones life a permanent home for itself. It has populated the remainder of my life with its effort. Of course it needs my help to do this, that is the bargain. All demons have names and this one goes by Indifference. I have given it broad authority to pollute my life. I am trying to introduce it to this door called ,Love, but it does not want to go.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012