My Fourth Grade Demon

I have recently been reconnecting with the class I graduated eighth grade with. At the time this began, this reconnect, I was working on restoring my child and early childhood joy and happiness. I was using an affirmation that involved using love as a door. Nearly as soon as I started this project, this reconnect with the child I had been, I am contacted by my eighth grade class. Some people like to call that coincidence but I call it providence. What I thought I was looking for was not to be found where I was looking, but this invitation, to reconnect, revealed where I had hidden it. What I was looking for I found between grade three and grade four. I thought I would find it buried in the grief I knew in grade one.

You see they held me back in grade one. I passed the class, no problem, but my brother Bob was being held back in grade two. He had no problem passing his class, what the hell it is second grade, but he thought school was fun. The nuns would not tolerate that. I was absolutely miserable through second grade and they decided I should spend a year at a public school. I really enjoyed first grade, the first time round, and third grade was a blast. I was sent to St Raymond’s in fourth grade for the remainder of my primary education. I could not have been more disappointed. Did these people, making decisions on my behalf, have any clue? No. I never again enjoyed school. I made no effort but was bright enough to pass easily without it. I landed in a college prep program for my lack of effort. Before I could get through four years of high school I had been to two very good schools. Got thrown out of both and am still without a diploma. It is needless to say, but I have made some very bad choices.

That brings me back to my quest to find my child and his assorted joys and happiness. I discovered what I was looking for (I do all this by divination) was a demon. The demon I found has hidden in this recess for all this time. Like all demons it stays busy working to make someones life a permanent home for itself. It has populated the remainder of my life with its effort. Of course it needs my help to do this, that is the bargain. All demons have names and this one goes by Indifference. I have given it broad authority to pollute my life. I am trying to introduce it to this door called ,Love, but it does not want to go.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Repair the Future With the Past

I recently read The Past is Your Light Map by Jennifer Hoffman.  I read it at Shift Frequency, a site run by Gillian Grannum. I really like her site. I find Jennifer’s blog too imposing but the post I read did inspire me and I have provided the link.

I was reminded of a method of healing I have used before but whose application had escaped me. I spent a few years doing regression therapy. Using a swing rod I would divine a past event that carried irritability and difficulty into my day-to-day living. I would do a simple reconstruction of the event and then dissolve it with apology and forgiveness. For a number of years I did this to manage my well-being. If I did not do this my health would collapse. After a time I came to see that the past is consequential in a way that perpetuated the injuries from the past. The injurious nature of my past created future fates that then drew me toward them. In my experience these fates were far fewer than the past injuries that created them but none the less injurious. Using the same methods of divination I would divine these fates and dissolve them as a way to repair my health and maintain well-being.

As near as I can tell my work with regression and fate is complete, however, the tendency to create these conditions remains and I fell into that condition. That creates the spiral, or gravity, that perpetuates difficulty and eventually the work needs to be done all over again. It is like turning off a light and then complaining about not being able to see. It is caused by ignorance. Any act of ignorance causes its growth. It is adhesive and the smallest step in this direction is immediately problem-some.

Jennifer’s blog post gave me a way to see what I could do differently. The word ‘hate’ has been a plague in my thought for some time. It is self-hate and of course it collects. It has been hard to see where it comes from and how to be rid of it. It is from my past and its gravity has had me stuck. I have worked to replace it by thinking love when the word, hate, shouts at me. So far not so good, until now. I realized that when irritability reared up the word hate would shout at me and the irritability was tied to my past, to an attitude attached to an incident in the past. Now I see the mechanism and that the irritability just wants love. I divine what the irritability is about and broadcast love for it into my future dissolving its gravity and creating the future I want from the past. The past and the future? They are the same thing and I am always free to create the future I want, now.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Fourth Chakra Fourth Dimension

The path to spiritual maturity leads me through my past. Like an image in a mirror my past reminds, directs and presents where I have been and the path I did not choose. The one way that fulfills my promise is never subject to change, it offers me no place to go but rather a way to be wherever I go. The Fourth chakra is like a fourth dimension, a mirror I can step into. A place where image is the structure of reality. The spiritual world is in this realm of image. I think we all see it but few people step over the threshold. The door is compassion and it is always open. Compassion has keys, forgiveness for example, unlocks compassion and I can consider the passage it reveals. I can leave my lost childhood behind and discover the promise of a new birth a completion of self where temporal realities meet the boundless realm of spirit. It is here that no mystery exists and creation is. The passage through the fourth chakra resolves the confusion I pretend to have and the past I create is the future I remember.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012

Whose God is it Anyway

I tried to talk with God but he was too busy writing books. Books that were full of contradictions. He thought that was real funny. When he was not doing that he was busy laughing his ass off watching the countless people who could not make sense of his books and wound up in hell. He got a particular kick out the folks who were sure their faith had saved them, that they had found the one true religion. It was then that I realized he was not God. An Oger such as that is fiction created in our own hellish nightmare. God would save us from that if we would just let it go and let God represent God’s self. If we found the narrow gate of forgiveness and let compassion rule. Kind of like what Jesus said when he sought forgiveness. Not for himself but for the people who humiliated him, tortured him and brutally murdered him. You do not need a book to know how to do that. You just have to do it. It is a way to be that does not recognize the boundary or constraint of any religion.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012