Buoyancy

Attraction. We attract success, never anything else. We know beforehand our destination then we decide to reach it or not. Success is inevitable, it is not always obvious how we chose the success we know, and it often looks like failure, but it is none the less our choice, our success. Choice is not often a deliberate calculation but rather a casual behavior much like breathing. It is a constant activity and it carries us along our way. This casual decision-making is of a supportive nature and it tends to fix us in place.

People find themselves in difficult circumstance. Many are born into it or are visited by an unfortunate act of nature, or by an accident. People are victimized by their government or the malice of others. The element of choice and attraction, in this, is difficult to consider but it is none the less found there. We arrive where we are with certain fates already pronounced and we plot our consideration of them by choice. For example,  we are born male or female with a collection of cultural and circumstantial fate attached. We then consider how we will arrange fate to achieve our goal. The process creates, or diminishes, a buoyancy that can be considered attraction. When we are buoyant, In addition to being lighter we find that our environment is less dense and light itself more prevalent. We rise or fall in this environment free to move in any direction, by the whim of choice, or how we consider our self and our environment.

Through all of this we establish habit, a disposition that reinforces our trajectory and stature. It is composed of choice. It is this that colors our character and determines how we feel about our person and place regardless of the trappings of success or failure the litter our landscape. It is this success that determines our happiness and satisfaction. We all know of people who, regardless of circumstance, are happy, who are content.

When I consider my circumstance, and the success handed to me by the circumstance of my birth, what I in turn did with that, well, I did not always make the best decisions. Some of my most determined choices were counterproductive. Determinative decisions attract a lot of thought and causal choice, habit. These attitudes of habit are easy to return to. Along with the poor choices, I made good choices and as I drift into a more buoyant state I expect the clarity of that realm to assist in a more pleasing success.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2015

The Gift of Life

Presenting the Divine, creation and creator, not as the same but as inseparable. While there are countless ways to present this construct, there is no other distinction by which it is known. The way we consider our self, and everything else, determines our relationship with whatever created us. God? I would never consider God as presented to me through the lens Abrahamic theology. That god is a monster and I want nothing to do with that. I don’t believe in monsters and would certainly not devote my life to one. All of the faiths that worship monstrous gods, gods who sanction hell while granting favor to others, each of them have given us examples of what a real monster might be, because they have been that monster. In different circumstance, I might be that example and bring the wrath of my imaginary god into our human community for sharing.

In my view, Divinity teaches that no matter what any of us have done, we share one common thread, innocence. I could also imagine that none are innocent. For me, the notion of innocence works best. To imagine that I might do what others do if I shared the experience of their circumstance, no matter how horrible or altruistic. There is a selflessness in Divine living that is measured by this sense of sameness, of no matter what. Of being like all others and all others being like me.

Today while I work on this puzzle my biggest challenge is defensiveness. It manifests as rage, anger, even self-hate. When I am approached by a spirit I respond by snapping at it, “What do you want!” It is not a question, it is more of a swat. It has become my habit. That kind of tension is not healthy for spiritual relations and the spiritual environment I live in. I allowed this tension to creep into my life, as I think most people do, accidentally on purpose. I cast blame outside of myself and imagined myself a victim of another persons intent.

In the past year I have paid scant attention to my blog while sorting out what has boiled down to the false notion of imposition. In matters of spirituality, there simply is no such thing. Everything is purposeful, an appointment generated by our true spirit, not in the past, or the future, but now. The moment of creation. You know, your spirit, that which breathed life into the dust and mud of the universe that it might experience life by creating a being to share it with. Spirit is neutral, which may seem indifferent. Spirit is what animates matter and ego is what animates person. I think the spirit that animates us and gives us awareness has endowed us with purpose, to surrender ego to spirit and give the creator life. To return the favor.

I believe that we can stand with spirit by recognizing the creative authority of now and letting all else go. Most of us, it seems, will not do that but even those are not lost because the creator and creation can have no true separation. This is the construct of Divinity, none of us escape it and all of us are invited to join it and be what the spirit is as well as its creation. That is Divine life. It is no mystery, it is just an inexplicably difficult choice to make, unless we let go of the difficulty. That is the singular obstacle and it is fickle.

Michael, the Mystic Tourist ©2015

Peeling My Spiritual Onion

I entertain the spirit of community, of empowerment, of opportunity and flexibility.

*   *   *   *   *

Choosing spirit. We can consider ourself, the rumblings of our mind and the way we carry that into our life, our community, as having spirit or being spiritual. We animate ourself and that which animates us is our spirit. We build a structure of mind, of thought, that a spirit, or spirits, find suitable. These spirits then act out, they craft and build a place, behaviors and conditions that suit their character. We imagine we are these spirits but we only host them. I write this as if it were true but it is only true that I have written it, that I make the claim that I believe it. As a mystic, I consider these things and my experience does, or does not, bear them out. It is clear to me that spirit behaves this way because I have tested it and it works. Might I have created the expectation and then fit myself into its mold? Well then that too has a power and influence in-kind. I accept that a rose is a rose no matter what I call it.

As the MysticTourist I am doing my private spiritual work in a public forum. Everything I write here represents and chronicles my private spiritual journey. Not quite, but very nearly in its entirety. Some of my personal work is so tedious, and slow to produce anything, that I have to take a break from the blog while I work it out. That is the only time I am not making an active contribution to the blog.

My spiritual journey has taken me into the public realm. Spiritual support is different for public spiritual living than it is for private-personal-spiritual experience. My spiritual approach to public life has long been broken and there is, of course, a spirituality I host to preserve the condition. Because I am consumed with mysticism, with human spirituality, my success is tied to it as well and I look to the spirituality of success. To assemble first the spiritual components and then have them assemble what success they prefer. That my spirit is my success and it expresses itself by making an example of itself as my person.  The spirit always makes a true representation of itself. If it looks like failure, that is the success because the spirit is true. If I am then to make human spirituality my success I must first choose my spirit.

Community. Empowerment. Opportunity. Flexibility. In considering these as one thing, as community, and its gifts of empowerment and opportunity, including the mobility that is flexibility, there is an expectation or spiritual characteristic implied. There is a spirit of community, of empowerment, of opportunity and flexibility. What I hope to do is draw the human spirit of community, as empowerment, opportunity and flexibility, to animate and build its example as my person. It is a different spirit than I have been hosting. Being alive I am always animated by some spirit or spirits. The task of identifying the spirits I would prefer to vacate and replacing them with what does entertain me better is a bit like peeling an onion. Each layer needs attention and as a spiritual exercise the expectation is that the peel I am struggling with will finally reveal the secret. It is a constant hope. It is true that the struggle we are engaged with at any given time is the struggle that will reveal the secret, the treasure, because there never was a secret and the treasure was always ours.

The culmination of my off-blog work, during the last ten days, was an affirmation: “I entertain the spirit of community, of empowerment, of opportunity and flexibility”. The spirit, or spirits, I seek, are of terrestrial origin. The community I am choosing to be spiritually active in is the human community. In looking to fashion, in the human community, the traditional expression considered to be success, I am using mysticism to realize the applicable values of human spirituality. To be openly spiritual I have to first start with a place able to support the non terrestrial spiritual community. A place built by terrestrial human spirits that mimics the values of good spirits not bound to flesh. Such a place is suitable for the spiritual community to interact with terrestrial human life. That is the plan, a work in progress.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

Drinking My Way to Enlightenment

I recently I conducted an inventory of sorts. In a muddle, I wrote my way to a better understanding of myself. Prior to my break from blogging, the time I spent conducting my inventory, I had managed to connect the Kundalini and that was exciting. I have connected the Kundalini before, but this go-round, is dissimilar to the experience I have known in the past. The connection that is the Kundalini brought into focus the disorder in my life and I quickly fell to the task of sorting it out.

For some time I have struggled with my habit of boozing. I like to drink and rekindled my drinking habit in 1999. I decided to begin a habit of drinking everyday. It was part of an overall effort to reconnect with my extended family of friends. It has been a long time since I realized that success and I am now well grounded by way of friendship. When I made my decision to drink, I expected that I would one day have to scuttle the habit and that day has been realized. While I do enjoy drinking, I prefer to be sober. If only I could do both.

I tend to be a person of extremes and so when my habit is everyday boozing, I tend to drink more than some people would think is prudent. I can and have moderated my habit to accommodate my excessive tendencies. Moderate drinking, by me, tends to be a lot of drink by some standards. Previously when I quit drink things were quite bad. Literally having ruined my life, and drinking being a big part of that, the decision to quit was one of last resort. Pretty easy. It also forced me to address the underlying cause of much of my habit at the time. Pain management. I had compacted my seventh thoracic vertebra and broken my neck in two different motorcycle accidents. I had ignored these injuries and done nothing to rehabilitate myself. To deal with the pain, I drank. I measured the strength of my drink by the strength of my pain. It ruined my life. I quit and spent two years out of work rehabilitating myself. The injuries were a direct result of my recklessness. A determination to force God to intervene in my life, by some kind of spontaneous enlightenment, or for attrition to end my life before I had lived long enough that I would have to take personal responsibility.

My drinking habit of late is by some standards excessive but it is in no way comparable to my youthful foolishness. At my age, drinking as much now as I did when I was young, would leave me destitute, unable to be socially productive.

Quitting without a crisis is a different animal. My decision is just a matter of personal preference. Instead of having a drink, I decide not to, over and over again. A bit tedious. All of the idiosyncrasies of my person continue to support the habit I invested so many years and my reputation in. I have every reason to believe that they will be replaced by a person more to my liking and healthier habits will emerge. That is happening and it is easier to keep my growing resolve as time slips past.

My habit has been to drink in the evening and I have been wanting, perhaps, a tea to enjoy instead. I finally did shop for tea. I first just looked at straight herbs and was lost. I stumbled across a blend, in the herbal tea aisle,  that had Kava Kava in it and then I thought, oh, Kava. I chose bulk Kava Kava to make my tea. Very nice. After a few days I remembered the therapeutic application of Kava in treating anxiety and that changing my boozing habit is an obvious trigger for anxiety. I am quite pleased with my choice and the tea is very nice. It has a texture and flavor that is soothing.

What I have noticed, since I put down the bottle, is the counterproductiveness of my boozing habit. I had imagined it was a way to relieve stress at the end of the day. Nothing could be further from the truth. It simply reinforced the expectation that the day was stressful and that I was in need of relief. In this way it caused of much of the stress for which I sought relief. Absent the decision to drink, I find that I am also absent  much of the imagined incentive.

I had become isolated from friends and the support that accompanies friendship. Drinking was a way for me to prioritize those relationships by being less spiritual in my affairs. I did make myself known again as a rather ordinary sort enjoying the party and the good time. In the end booze was creating more stress than it possibly could relieve and my friendships had always been independent of it. It remains to be seen what impact its absence will have on my overall well-being. Will it be instrumental in restoring the richness I once knew in my spiritual life?

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2014

Which End of The Telescope

When confined to the realm of the lower chakras, people are an obstacle and we are one with them, one of them. We congregate by our emotional response to how we have been conditioned. This congregation of emotional reality serves to bind us to be the subject of judgement and to judge. We entertain this condition emotionally and rationally, building connections that bind us to the lower chakras. It can only end if we connect the lower chakras to the higher chakras.

Even after making the connection the binding that we dutifully built will remain.

The first task, after reaching the higher chakras, while still bound by emotion, judgement and condition to the lower chakras, is to embrace being bound this way. What needs to change is the way we respond to the judgement we previously bound ourself to. It is this response that allows the binding to relax releasing the self into the higher chakras, or conversely, to allow the lower chakras to pull us back down. I was able to rise to the higher chakras by considering, self-respect, self-control, opportunity and optimism. Self-respect and Self-control granted passage to the fifth chakra, Sea of Justice Seat of Truth. This position of Truth allowed Opportunity to open the sixth chakra, Light Gate and in turn Optimism opened Spirit Gate, the seventh chakra. Now, as I consider this, the pull of the lower three chakras works to restore its grip.

My first attempt to relax these bounds has been ineffective. What to do? There was a time that I enjoyed a relatively secure continuity of the seven chakras acting as one. That was a different time and I realized it by releasing the aforementioned bounds, thus allowing the self to rise. I think there must be a different expectation of me now. Something along the lines of reverse engineering. To build the path from the top down, something resembling an out-of-body experience. To provide the connection I established with self-respect, self-control, opportunity and optimism and allow osmosis to do the rest. I think this must be it. I can see the emotional soup of judgement and conditioning swirling around me, as if to swallow me and pull me under. The screams of Devils and Demons. The ridicule and taunt of Satans. The imposing expectations of both agreement and disagreement born of our human community. These are the things we typically ignore as we bind ourselves with ignorance and deny the obvious, hoping to fit and be like the rest.

This time, as I work to restore the temple by realizing its central pillar, the seven chakras of the Kundalini, it is a time I think to simply bear witness until the clamor runs its course. Without adding my voice there will be no conversation and the place I am will quite. This I think must be the purpose, to change the conversation, but this time from the top down.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Spiritual Awakening

My ability to be independent, free and resourceful, unburdened by the hand of restraint, has found a new lease. I have renewed my commitment to opportunity, restoring possibility to my sight. It had been beyond my sight, a distant horizon and all I needed was to stand. Easier said than done. The burden that pulled me down did so incrementally. Employing just the moment; persistent, constant, unnoticed. The product of my long-held betrayal of self, now informs me. These burdens always collect in the lower chakras and when they pull us down, we establish norms and habits that perpetuate and reinforce their permanence. The lower chakras are, at best, poorly lit.

Back in 1981 I came to believe I would win a lottery in California and that would be the means of my financial security. Not very helpful. There was no lottery in California at that time, only the constant talk of, maybe, someday. Idle chatter across the populace. In 1984 the voters of the state passed proposition 37 and on October 3 1985 the first drawing was held. I am still confident that I will win the darn thing, but not by some luck. There is a way to understand it. To be honest I would rather have some different notion than imagine that such a thing is possible and that I should pursue it. I do not waste much time or money on it. I only play if the jackpot is in excess of 60 million dollars and then I buy three identical tickets so I can easily give most of it away. In the meantime I pursue more traditional career paths. That is not working out very well either. The cost of living has outpaced my means.

Today I am able to be open about my mystical sensibilities without hedging against the hostile intentions of an intimate acquaintance. I have managed to restore myself spiritually and expose myself in the process. I suppose that is some sort of notable benchmark. I wonder if it is? I have long suspected that my overall success was tied, first to my spiritual life and secondly to living spiritually publicly. I am pretty sure I have restored my spiritual posture and I have done that very publicly. Now I shall see if I can walk the walk. If I can it is a Brave New World because I have not done it before.

I believe the world is magical and we are magical beings. That nothing happens any other way. It is the norm, the way things are, what we are doing all the time. Call it creation if you will and that we are creative. This belief leaves me with one incentive; to live that way. It is the way I live.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Mystical Money

My decision to make a business using mystic creativity has created a shift in my disposition, as if I finally decided to fit the round peg into the round hole. In the past few months, I have been irritable. I believe that everything has purpose and the purpose of my irritability is to draw my attention to its underlying cause. As the passage of time has drawn me closer to the realization of using my creativity for marketing purposes, to sell merchandise, I am both sure that it is what I have to do and dismissive of the idea as implausible. Irritability. The disposition that brings cessation to my irritability is the decision to go ahead and develop a market. Having poured considerable thought into this idea I have finally put a little money into it as well. I have researched options for manufacturing merchandise and ideas for marketing are beginning to gel. The thing that has, at least for now, curbed my irritability are the steps I have taken to actually set the business in motion. I now have a fictitious business name and have applied for a business licence. Having taken these steps my irritability seems to have evaporated, disappeared. Hopefully this exercise in psychology will also produce a worthwhile business adventure.

What exactly is mysticism? Is it unique to people like me? Am I somehow different? I see mysticism as what we are all doing. Each of us walking in the dark, on our way to where we already are, hoping to realize some lasting value or meaning in exchange for our experience, our existence. A person like me, who is mystic, believes wholly in providence. I live a life dominated by God. I need to accept everything on God’s terms, believing that providence is the guiding hand of God and it alone will satisfy me if only I observe and follow its direction. So what do I think of God? I think God is, or, God is naught. It makes no difference as things can not be different than they are. No God worth knowing could be offended and I have no fear of God, only reverence. I let God define God and am not the least bit concerned about what the definition might be. I believe that what can be considered absolute, is indicative of God and I hold those qualities to be of the greatest value. Compassion, Understanding and Truth.

As my temporal expression slips into the emptiness of time, lost to the past and absent in the future, I imagine that time is like a telescope, with but one way to properly function. The only lens that is of any value is now, but it is not usual for any of us to find ourselves wholly here now. Generally we scatter our self across the past and future, which don’t really exist except in one sense, they are the same thing and the only way to make sense of it is to be present, in full, now. The past and the future are the same because the past is carried into the future making it what is past. We create the whole thing in the only time that actually exists, now. When we are here now, creation is understood and being here now is a matter of alignment, like a mystical key. The alignment is also a process. An investment of time and choice. Actions and behaviors that build a way and place to be. A place that already exists. It is much different to do this privately than to do it publicly, the alignments are less familiar but I think it can be done and that it is what I have to do. I shall continue to puzzle it together and write about it here on my blog.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

A Chip on My Shoulder

Having made the decision to forgo daily alcohol consumption, I remain physically tense and at ill ease in my body and person. I feel better but irritability and tension remain, continuing to displace my self. This implies that there is yet more to do, that I continue to express behavior that is contrary to my self, behavior that displaces my self. I expect it may be behavior that is absent, things I have not done, or a structure of person produced of habit. I consider this and turn my attention to my external companion, my self, a transparent presence beside me that represents my self, calm begins to displace tension. As I consider this encounter, with my self, it seems the concern displacing  my self, from my person, is clutter. A dearth of activity left undone.

I am familiar with a number of healing arts and am trained as an Acupressurist. Much of the healing work, I have done, has been done discreetly, in the quite of physical solitude. I have tried to support myself, as a healer, but have never found a successful business model. When I consider how to bring my person, self, and form, to the same bearing, this is what comes up, healing work. Where to start?

When we invest our time and energy, in our day-to-day activities, and considerations – thought, habits, actions – we create the past as well as a future. Both of these conditions, past and the future, can be modified. We can consider our past, its shortcomings, and change how it is considered. Identify circumstance, persons, places, things, that represent injury, or some regret, and change how we carry it. Identify attitude/emotion and forgive our self, others and God, while asking for forgiveness in return. Letting it all go.

As we build a past it creates a future, much like planning a trip. If we make the effort and correct our past, the future generated from past considerations continues to pull us along its course. It has its own gravity. Just as we can correct, heal our past, the future behaves the same way. We can look to the future and dismantle its gravity. This is the area of my life I will look to as I consider how to bring healing to where I am now. The future.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Displacement of Self

Beside me, I recognize my self, a transparent figure pressing against my physical person. The sensation of my self, standing beside me, pressed against me, triggers a sense of tense irritability in my physical person. When I consider this as my self and ask why my self is standing beside me, against me but not within me, calm begins to permeate my physical person. It seems that the content of my person has displaced my self and when I engage with this external representation of self, as if it were myself, calm displaces irritability. What am I doing other than being myself? One thing I recently discovered, when I asked this question, of my self, is that my self would prefer that I drink less alcohol. This presents the question of whether to quit entirely or to moderate.

I have an extreme personality. I tend to be extreme in my behaviors. Perhaps moderation is the lesson the self has in mind for me. Quitting booze altogether would be very easy for me because it is an extreme behavior. The question comes down to value. What are the comparative values? Benefits and risks.

When I made the decision to begin drinking again it was to facilitate reconnecting with friends. I had been isolated from my friends for a few years while I managed more pressing concerns. The booze helped me, in my mind, to be more available, approachable to friends. It took me out of my funk and forced me to disengage from my problems. It has since become a way to alleviate chronic back pain and that is problematic. Booze is very effective in diminishing any concern about pain, physical or personal, but it is a poor choice. When pain management is the motive for drinking, excess is a constant problem. At least for me it is. I prefer to be sober than to be drunk, however, I have been known to drink more than I prefer. Is that enough of a reason to give it up altogether or are there underlying issues that exacerbate the tendency to drink excessively that I would be wise to address?

As I consider these questions, I consult my self, thus inviting my self in. No longer standing beside me, my self and I become, myself.  We are one. My person and my self sharing the same center as my temporal body of flesh, blood and bone. My self prefers that I would abstain from drink. My person must make this the way I am if I am to forge an agreement to share the same temple of flesh, blood and bone where person, self and form are in agreement and of the same bearing.

In the past fourteen years I have structured my life around alcohol, drinking daily with occasional retreats to reset my habit. I can take it or leave it, but having said that, I have a high tolerance for the stuff. I can drink a lot. I am not found of being sick or having a headache and I know how to avoid that. Never been cited for D.U.I. It has become a stress management tool. I have to stop processing what is on my mind after a couple of beers and it takes the sting out of my back. It is a commitment to switch off and relax, something I am otherwise not very good at. I tend to drink more than is good for me and that bothers me. I often have poor recollection of the events of the last evening, and frankly, I don’t care for that or the fuzziness in my head that so often greets me in the morning.

What are my other options to deal with personal irritability and physical discomfort other than daily drink and has drink simply become a way to perpetuate a cycle that involves itself? When considering whether or not, at this stage it helps, on balance, I think not.

Micheal, The Mystic Tourist, ©2013

Arazyal Prince of Darkness

Darkness. There is a Satanic presence that is darkness and against a background of darkness, it is invisible, unseen. One such Satan is named Arazyal. It may be that all Satans can assume this form but today it is Arazyal who takes notice. In my mind, I imagined the name to be Yazassal but decided to consult The Book of Enoch and discovered the name that I was looking for, Arazyal.

Ignorance is the only shelter Arazyal needs and then he is very close and personal. Imagining, pretending he is not there, this kind of Satan is right at home, within us, in the darkness of our own mind. This type builds things there using only suggestion. As is always the case with Satans, we do all the work for them, they only wield influence. The structures we build with them, are structures made of sand, it takes a constant effort to keep them standing and repaired. Without this effort the shadows recede and this Satan is forced to search for darker pastures.

All of the various types of Satans work in tandem. Relentless. The longer we entertain their influence, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish their presence. We really do come to see things as they do, or, more accurately, as they want us to.

I am not sure that it makes a great deal of difference what Satans do. I am quite certain that many of us survive their influence without ever knowing of them. There are countless ways to mitigate their influence. My curiosity and life is such that I need to know. I can consider all of this in many ways but what I write about here is the spiritual landscape that I see as I walk from the shadows into the light. It is in considering all of this, as I do, that I can dismiss it. In recognizing the structure and habit of negative thought, as being separate from who I am, I see these Satans working to make permanent negative trajectories and conditions. When I see it is their agenda that I have enabled, letting it go becomes a simpler task and I can separate influence from action in the subtle recesses of my existence.

Tomorrow, another Satan to betray. Betrayal is their craft and it is in observing them that the darkness and shadow they rely on is vacated. Our contract with them depends on our ignorance. Ignorance is the coin that assures their presence and withholding it betrays our agreement with them.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013