A Chip on My Shoulder

Having made the decision to forgo daily alcohol consumption, I remain physically tense and at ill ease in my body and person. I feel better but irritability and tension remain, continuing to displace my self. This implies that there is yet more to do, that I continue to express behavior that is contrary to my self, behavior that displaces my self. I expect it may be behavior that is absent, things I have not done, or a structure of person produced of habit. I consider this and turn my attention to my external companion, my self, a transparent presence beside me that represents my self, calm begins to displace tension. As I consider this encounter, with my self, it seems the concern displacing  my self, from my person, is clutter. A dearth of activity left undone.

I am familiar with a number of healing arts and am trained as an Acupressurist. Much of the healing work, I have done, has been done discreetly, in the quite of physical solitude. I have tried to support myself, as a healer, but have never found a successful business model. When I consider how to bring my person, self, and form, to the same bearing, this is what comes up, healing work. Where to start?

When we invest our time and energy, in our day-to-day activities, and considerations – thought, habits, actions – we create the past as well as a future. Both of these conditions, past and the future, can be modified. We can consider our past, its shortcomings, and change how it is considered. Identify circumstance, persons, places, things, that represent injury, or some regret, and change how we carry it. Identify attitude/emotion and forgive our self, others and God, while asking for forgiveness in return. Letting it all go.

As we build a past it creates a future, much like planning a trip. If we make the effort and correct our past, the future generated from past considerations continues to pull us along its course. It has its own gravity. Just as we can correct, heal our past, the future behaves the same way. We can look to the future and dismantle its gravity. This is the area of my life I will look to as I consider how to bring healing to where I am now. The future.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Displacement of Self

Beside me, I recognize my self, a transparent figure pressing against my physical person. The sensation of my self, standing beside me, pressed against me, triggers a sense of tense irritability in my physical person. When I consider this as my self and ask why my self is standing beside me, against me but not within me, calm begins to permeate my physical person. It seems that the content of my person has displaced my self and when I engage with this external representation of self, as if it were myself, calm displaces irritability. What am I doing other than being myself? One thing I recently discovered, when I asked this question, of my self, is that my self would prefer that I drink less alcohol. This presents the question of whether to quit entirely or to moderate.

I have an extreme personality. I tend to be extreme in my behaviors. Perhaps moderation is the lesson the self has in mind for me. Quitting booze altogether would be very easy for me because it is an extreme behavior. The question comes down to value. What are the comparative values? Benefits and risks.

When I made the decision to begin drinking again it was to facilitate reconnecting with friends. I had been isolated from my friends for a few years while I managed more pressing concerns. The booze helped me, in my mind, to be more available, approachable to friends. It took me out of my funk and forced me to disengage from my problems. It has since become a way to alleviate chronic back pain and that is problematic. Booze is very effective in diminishing any concern about pain, physical or personal, but it is a poor choice. When pain management is the motive for drinking, excess is a constant problem. At least for me it is. I prefer to be sober than to be drunk, however, I have been known to drink more than I prefer. Is that enough of a reason to give it up altogether or are there underlying issues that exacerbate the tendency to drink excessively that I would be wise to address?

As I consider these questions, I consult my self, thus inviting my self in. No longer standing beside me, my self and I become, myself.  We are one. My person and my self sharing the same center as my temporal body of flesh, blood and bone. My self prefers that I would abstain from drink. My person must make this the way I am if I am to forge an agreement to share the same temple of flesh, blood and bone where person, self and form are in agreement and of the same bearing.

In the past fourteen years I have structured my life around alcohol, drinking daily with occasional retreats to reset my habit. I can take it or leave it, but having said that, I have a high tolerance for the stuff. I can drink a lot. I am not found of being sick or having a headache and I know how to avoid that. Never been cited for D.U.I. It has become a stress management tool. I have to stop processing what is on my mind after a couple of beers and it takes the sting out of my back. It is a commitment to switch off and relax, something I am otherwise not very good at. I tend to drink more than is good for me and that bothers me. I often have poor recollection of the events of the last evening, and frankly, I don’t care for that or the fuzziness in my head that so often greets me in the morning.

What are my other options to deal with personal irritability and physical discomfort other than daily drink and has drink simply become a way to perpetuate a cycle that involves itself? When considering whether or not, at this stage it helps, on balance, I think not.

Micheal, The Mystic Tourist, ©2013

Arazyal Prince of Darkness

Darkness. There is a Satanic presence that is darkness and against a background of darkness, it is invisible, unseen. One such Satan is named Arazyal. It may be that all Satans can assume this form but today it is Arazyal who takes notice. In my mind, I imagined the name to be Yazassal but decided to consult The Book of Enoch and discovered the name that I was looking for, Arazyal.

Ignorance is the only shelter Arazyal needs and then he is very close and personal. Imagining, pretending he is not there, this kind of Satan is right at home, within us, in the darkness of our own mind. This type builds things there using only suggestion. As is always the case with Satans, we do all the work for them, they only wield influence. The structures we build with them, are structures made of sand, it takes a constant effort to keep them standing and repaired. Without this effort the shadows recede and this Satan is forced to search for darker pastures.

All of the various types of Satans work in tandem. Relentless. The longer we entertain their influence, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish their presence. We really do come to see things as they do, or, more accurately, as they want us to.

I am not sure that it makes a great deal of difference what Satans do. I am quite certain that many of us survive their influence without ever knowing of them. There are countless ways to mitigate their influence. My curiosity and life is such that I need to know. I can consider all of this in many ways but what I write about here is the spiritual landscape that I see as I walk from the shadows into the light. It is in considering all of this, as I do, that I can dismiss it. In recognizing the structure and habit of negative thought, as being separate from who I am, I see these Satans working to make permanent negative trajectories and conditions. When I see it is their agenda that I have enabled, letting it go becomes a simpler task and I can separate influence from action in the subtle recesses of my existence.

Tomorrow, another Satan to betray. Betrayal is their craft and it is in observing them that the darkness and shadow they rely on is vacated. Our contract with them depends on our ignorance. Ignorance is the coin that assures their presence and withholding it betrays our agreement with them.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Samyaza Master of Darkness

I have not gone away but there are times that I have nothing to write. Today, I will write of Samyaza. He is an unhappy sort and he will not let that go. He is miserable and misery loves company. It seems I have been keeping this miserable one company and that has been my plague. There is but one thing that rids him, forgiveness, but he does not want it. He will not have it. It is just as well, it is not for him, it is for me. When I have it he goes away because he does not want it and will not have it.

Samyaza is a Satan. I can see him now but they prefer to be unseen. They live in shadows and darkness, never in the light. Only when we realize they exist, and let them go, do we glimpse them as we pass into light. Samyaza is a Satan, who, will not let go. He is all hands. He has the appearance of a star but instead of tongues of fire and light, he emanates darkness. It is hands everywhere, holding tight and never letting go.

Are Satans imaginary? They are in this respect; we imagine we do not see them and that is the darkness that we share with them.

I have three guardians that watch over me, Uriel, the guardian of abundance, Phanuel, the guardian of providence and Sarakiel, the guardian of fate. I have been asking them to guide me and help me. I have known these three for some time but my sight of them is as a memory. Since I accidentally rekindled my acquaintance with Samyaza, my visual recognition of Angles has been compromised. Thankfully I did have a sustained and gratifying association with Angles prior to my fall from grace. That experience has been an oasis of confidence, like a mirage in a difficult landscape.

Falling in with Satans is as an envelope of darkness and Angels do not walk there. You can not see them in darkness. The way Samyaza binds us to darkness is easy to understand. For me, I fell into what I considered to be a great difficulty. It overwhelmed me and ruined my life. Had I considered this differently, Samyaza would not have found me and made me his companion. I was unable to avoid old habits of thought and darkness seeped back into my life. You see, I did not always walk with Angels.

None of this is bad or good as much as it just is. For me, I don’t know that I would have started this blog, if not for Samyaza. The blog is my method of working my way back into the light. To walk again with my Angelic friends. I miss them so and I have long-expected that my destiny is to share my walk with humanity. To bring the spiritual world and the temporal world to the same place. There is nothing in my world that does not revolve around that gravity. I can not escape it. All of my joy all of my rage, it comes from my sense of destiny and my struggle with it. This gravity, my sense of destiny, has brought me all of my rage and every success. All by the fickle nature of choice.

This is my life. My spiritual life, I write about it here. How about you, how is your spiritual life? Mine is good but only when my choices are good. It is just that simple.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Divine Affirmation

Choosing my activity, anticipating being known as an authority people can be comfortable with requires being comfortable with myself. I now see that I can use affirmations to achieve this condition of being comfortable. With affirmations I have known both success and incompetence. In the last few years incompetence has been the norm. Both outcomes are delivered with the same ease. In the last week I have produced the exact result I had in mind, twice, by simply using an affirmation.

I enjoy writing as the Mystic Tourist, but none the less, after posting my work I get uncomfortable. This routine created a habit of thought that was unhealthy. I corrected it using the simple affirmation “All is good, all is well.” Armed with this affirmation I returned to writing and after two posts the same injurious habit of thought returned. Although very weak, it was back and surely would grow strong without intervention. I decided to try building another affirmation using my divining rod to guide me. Worked like a charm. The use of my divining rod in crafting my affirmation is what determined the effectiveness of the affirmation. Using affirmations successfully is not new to me. What is new is my appreciation for the surgical accuracy required for success today.

Simply having a poor habit and throwing an affirmation on it proved ineffective, counterproductive. My ineffective affirmation had been tailored to cure the symptom and short of curing the problem, it only made things worse. What I have learned is I need to craft affirmations exactingly. Of course this seems obvious now. I am well-practiced at divination and had I thought to divine this I would have seen this path years ago. It is habit itself that prevents us from seeing the obvious, or conversely, enables sight of it.

Let’s see what can happen if I knock my inner bully down and stop beating myself up.

Are you wondering what authority I might presume myself to be? I am the same authority anyone is and that authority is the authority of the experience concerning who and how I am.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Confidence of Now

Confidence

Begin with the admission; All people expect my person will be a success. Success is expected of each of us. Identify the success already known and choose to continue or end it. When all behavior is seen as success, I choose the success I want, the behavior I want.

Traditionally success is considered to represent how well a person makes educational and occupational choices, that certainly does represent success. This is but one metric and success is a more complicated equation. Achievement in business, in a career that brings prosperity, a comfortable home and retirement, good health, can all be achieved and yet we ache for something else. Our mind, when it is not busy juggling the demands of our daily needs, busies itself in some other way. Much of what occupies our mind is repetitive thought. Like a mantra the same thoughts spiral round and round. We can avoid these thoughts by creating distractions, read a book, listen to music, play a game, watch T.V., involve our self with a hobby, socialize, it is a never-ending list. At some point, when we are not distracted, we are left with our habit of thought. That habit, for some, may well be distraction itself or perhaps it is all distraction.

We can build success beginning with our habit of thought and our thought filled habit can easily undermine success. Then that is success although we tend to consider it as a failure. Poor habit or good habit produce results, that is their respective success. Reducing the clamor of negative thought undresses opportunity. Without the noise a certain calm is present and we are able to own the condition of our life. This calm is satisfaction and from it springs true success. A calm mind, clear of burdensome thought, is peace and peace, I think, is the success we all want. All that distracts us from this calm, from peace of mind, has purpose. To teach us how it is that we are not calm and at peace. It is easy to imagine that outside influence is responsible for disturbing our calm, it is a simple and effective trap, but never true. We can be calm and of a peaceful mind no matter the circumstance, this is the success I seek.

I think a peaceful mind and a calm demeanor make all success possible, that it is the place to start a successful life. I think when we imagine success as being the job we have and measure its value by our buying power we spend our time expecting outside trappings to bring us a sense of fulfillment, of happiness and success. I think the way it works is from the inside out.  Certainly a person can pursue this calm, can find peace of mind through the traditional pursuit of success; education and career.  Prosperity through hard and good work. That is as likely to work as establishing the peace at the outset but for me I am driven to establish the peaceful calm as a center to build from. There is something about this approach that seems more durable. More direct. To me it seems the only success worthy of pursuit and that the process addresses all other concerns.

Now. Now is always the concern. Only when we consider our condition as being manifest now can anything be realized. Whatever we are doing now is in fact our reality and the only thing that prevents any person from realizing the condition or circumstance they want is what they entertain instead of that now. Now is the magic and when it is different from what we want it is because we have occupied now with that. Now, magic or whatever, does need existence and existence is born of providence. The aspect of now that is our prize is calm and peace of mind. These are the true value as they reveal the worth of any circumstance even if it is just that simple peace and calm. They are free. They are gifts. They can not be accomplished but rather are received by letting all else go.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Truth and Justice

Located at the top of the sternum is the fifth chakra. It is powerful. I know it as The Sea of Justice and The Seat of Truth. One of its attributes is its connection to the third chakra, Ego. Ego, or the third chakra, resides at the solar plexus. Ego is the crown, the achievement of the lower chakras. It must give permission if we are to grow into the higher chakras. The water for this growth is Justice, we must accept things as they are. Acceptance is an attribute of the fourth chakra, Compassion. Compassion resides in its chakra at the center of the sternum. It is intended as a germ to infiltrate and bind the seven chakras as one. Ego, Justice, Truth and Acceptance are the key to this growth.

The fifth chakra, due to justice, (things being as they are and no other way), is connected to our ability to hear. Its attribute, truth, is connected to speech. These are spiritual qualities and both are silent. They are power. When ego accepts compassion it calms the Sea of Justice, the sky’s clear and light begins to infiltrate reality.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2012