The Vacancy of Now

The future already exists. It must exist because it consists entirely of the past. Our experience of it is skewed by our life and death. We tend to cling to false importance. We want to secure some lasting value but our animal condition will not last. We seek ownership, of something that will demonstrate our value, and that is a contradiction. Ownership is a lie, nothing can be owned. We confuse ownership with things like responsibility, accountability, honesty, forgiveness, truth, compassion and understanding. Stuff that actually has value. These values make a purchase of themselves and their value is in their generosity. They afford no pride of ownership as they are for the equal benefit of everyone and everything. None of these qualities are the sort of thing a person can take ownership of, they are their own value.

How then to make the future absent the difficulties of the past? Typically people will engage in established norms of education and employment, we will strive to establish and maintain nurturing relationships, friendships. Much of this only severs as a distraction, a mask for our sense of vacancy. I guess everything is like that, and for me, I believe that happiness and contentment can be discovered and their value then produce the trappings of success. Success is measured differently for different people, but happiness and contentment bring success to all circumstance and so if we discover those, before we set out, whatever we do, is success. I think many of us believe we need external trappings to be happy, we set out to secure those and worry about contentment and happiness later. Many of us are just naturally content and happy. For me, I remember a time of great happiness, a time past and so it must also be in my future, because, wait for it… the future is made of the past. I am happy today, especially when I write. The happiness I lost was that of a young boy. It is hard to imagine being that happy, but I was. What displaced it?

As a young man, I made some very poor choices. I expected to end my life by attrition. It was my way of flipping off God and the elements of society that fell short of my expectation. I considered it performance art and expected it to convey some deep meaning, a message of outrage to humanity for its shortcomings, I had an anger I simply could not contain toward God. I did not like being mystic, and, I could not escape it. I abandoned education, failing to graduate even high school. To this day I am unable to motivate myself scholastically. I am still motivated, only by mysticism, devotion to God. In my sense of God, anything that alludes to God is of an absolute nature and so devotion to God encompasses everything, all concerns and relationships find their completion and satisfaction by the absolute context of devotion to God. I do think there is something about mysticism that is of value, that my pursuit of it will bring me the success I need to live comfortably, affording the food and shelter that I desire.

It is strange to be in pursuit of my interests, of the life that motivates me and not be so angry about it. Imagining that could actually build something of value with it. Had I made these investments forty-four years ago, where might I be now? Oh well, I could not do it then, I was just too angry. Why? Did I have to go through all of it, all the trouble I made for myself? Perhaps I did.

Let us hope it is not too late to salvage the worldly success that was the promise of my birth circumstance and that I so forcefully worked to destroy.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Mystical Money

My decision to make a business using mystic creativity has created a shift in my disposition, as if I finally decided to fit the round peg into the round hole. In the past few months, I have been irritable. I believe that everything has purpose and the purpose of my irritability is to draw my attention to its underlying cause. As the passage of time has drawn me closer to the realization of using my creativity for marketing purposes, to sell merchandise, I am both sure that it is what I have to do and dismissive of the idea as implausible. Irritability. The disposition that brings cessation to my irritability is the decision to go ahead and develop a market. Having poured considerable thought into this idea I have finally put a little money into it as well. I have researched options for manufacturing merchandise and ideas for marketing are beginning to gel. The thing that has, at least for now, curbed my irritability are the steps I have taken to actually set the business in motion. I now have a fictitious business name and have applied for a business licence. Having taken these steps my irritability seems to have evaporated, disappeared. Hopefully this exercise in psychology will also produce a worthwhile business adventure.

What exactly is mysticism? Is it unique to people like me? Am I somehow different? I see mysticism as what we are all doing. Each of us walking in the dark, on our way to where we already are, hoping to realize some lasting value or meaning in exchange for our experience, our existence. A person like me, who is mystic, believes wholly in providence. I live a life dominated by God. I need to accept everything on God’s terms, believing that providence is the guiding hand of God and it alone will satisfy me if only I observe and follow its direction. So what do I think of God? I think God is, or, God is naught. It makes no difference as things can not be different than they are. No God worth knowing could be offended and I have no fear of God, only reverence. I let God define God and am not the least bit concerned about what the definition might be. I believe that what can be considered absolute, is indicative of God and I hold those qualities to be of the greatest value. Compassion, Understanding and Truth.

As my temporal expression slips into the emptiness of time, lost to the past and absent in the future, I imagine that time is like a telescope, with but one way to properly function. The only lens that is of any value is now, but it is not usual for any of us to find ourselves wholly here now. Generally we scatter our self across the past and future, which don’t really exist except in one sense, they are the same thing and the only way to make sense of it is to be present, in full, now. The past and the future are the same because the past is carried into the future making it what is past. We create the whole thing in the only time that actually exists, now. When we are here now, creation is understood and being here now is a matter of alignment, like a mystical key. The alignment is also a process. An investment of time and choice. Actions and behaviors that build a way and place to be. A place that already exists. It is much different to do this privately than to do it publicly, the alignments are less familiar but I think it can be done and that it is what I have to do. I shall continue to puzzle it together and write about it here on my blog.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

Now, The Wormhole

As humans we cause reality. We are one humanity comprised of individual shards, unwell due to false limitations that reproduce replicas of our prior poor example. Because we are shards, pieces of a whole, we communicate. Wanting restoration, completion.

There is small value in private spirituality, it can grow into a greater value but privately, it is no more than seed. Even as seed we marvel at its value, what it might be if allowed to grow. Key to this growth, this greater value, is communication. As we communicate reality takes form. We make agreements creating possibility. For the most part this discussion takes place in the background of our mind and we ignore it. Ignorance does not curb our creativity, diminish our authority, it only causes injury to our reality. Through ignorance we discard our responsibility and imagine outside influences are at play shaping, forming possibility. They are not. We are responsible.

As I forge reality communication builds a place. A structure suitable for proof. And what would I prove? Nothing. There is nothing to prove. Proof belongs to itself, it is evidence of itself. I work to make an example of the way things are. To communicate it. In doing this work, communication, a community takes form. This causes an actual place, a structure. The community, by communication, forms the structure and its dimension. I have built this sort of thing before and so I know something about it. In the past it was entirely spiritual, today, the charge is to build it in the temporal world. To build a spiritual structure using temporal components.

I have no experience doing this but having built similar structures, without temporal components, I have an idea and that is beginning to take form. The place already exists and it is little more than alignments that reveal it. What I choose to think, what I choose to do, creates those alignments. The habit of thought is the most crucial component, it spawns all else.

I need to be comfortable with this, to let go and be there. That creates a template for manifestation and in turn spawns communication. The communication creates a place for reality take form and prove what needs no proof. The way things are. The secret to all of this is magic. The illusive wormhole of lore. It has a name. When we let go of everything we are left only with what is, we are no longer lost in the past or plotting the change we want to see. In choosing to let go, we actually get to do it. All of the crap, we hold on to, instead of letting go, well it shows up as a constant temptation. Once we have settled this score and actually let it all go, we are left only with what is. Providence alone dictates our fate and we are free to choose our recognizable destiny. To be here now and to do only what is asked of us, what is best. The wormhole is now. It is the magic and our singular appointment if we choose to keep it.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Salvation of Jesus

Writing as the Mystic Tourist I have altered my presence in the collective mind. Of the people who have known me and been my community, none knew the Mystic Tourist, until I created him and gave him a blog. Of course I am the Tourist and I am as I was before. The difference is that I have let anyone who can find my work, know. Additionally I have done what I can to make myself available so any who know me personally might also know, The Mystic Tourist. It creates a different consideration of my self.

My concerns are spiritual. I know of no other way to consider anything, even as I am distracted. I am happy to share my view of current social-political concerns. The way I think we ought to behave as a society. I enjoy letting people know where I think we have fallen down and how I think we might best stand ourselves up. These are distractions. It is what I do as filler. Something, anything to do with my mind and the small measure of time apportioned to it for it to spend. There is always something that I might otherwise do. A different way to spend myself. I think we can do a lot to improve the condition of life here on earth and to create a future more to our liking. I also think that we do all of that as spiritual persons. That it is the spiritual part of our being that is power and authority. The bridge that is creation.

My concerns are spiritual and I while my time to bring spiritual living into animal form. I did this first by creating a spiritual place for myself. A place to discover something true about my experience as a spiritual person. That was very powerful. Step two has been to shine a light on that, to let people know of the rich spiritual experience I have known. Step three is a shared experience. To end the mystery of spiritual life by living it in the open, not as an act of  ‘faith’ but as a fact of life. To demonstrate our spiritual form, not as a philosophy, not as an interpretation of theology or scripture, but as my life. The purpose of my life can not be to die and go to heaven. To imagine that as the answer to life, as its purpose, is to be dishonest. If I can only know after I am dead and gone, why I am here, I have told myself a lie. This is the place, this is the form, this is the person to know the answer and now is the time or I am lying to myself.

In the Christian tradition we are all waiting for Jesus to return and when he does he will bring a harsh judgement, except of course, for the few. The chosen few. Mind you this is the Jesus who reportedly, in his last agonizing moment, sought the forgiveness of those who humiliated him, tortured him and brutally murdered him. Such a man could have no part of a judgement so harsh that it landed almost all of us in hell. Not just any hell mind you, but a hell so unbearable that it never ends.

The story of  Jesus is meaningless if Jesus is God. Its only possible value is if it is our story. The story of our human nature and of how and who we are. That is the message and it is not a message of how to be after we are dead. It is how we must be now. If you would know Jesus then know yourself. He is the same as you are. The story of his return is your story, it is my story. If Jesus or anyone else could live the life that he did, then surely, someone else will do it as well.

There is no reason to believe that Jesus founded a church. Others did that in his name. They assembled a book and then claimed that the words therein were God’s words. It is not true. You must have faith to believe that. I have no faith, but I do have confidence, all of it rests with God. Fear of God? I have no fear, certainly not of God. I fear those who claim to speak for God, who claim they own God by some book, written words. I fear those who claim to speak for God and threaten me with hell. Forgiveness, that is what it is about. It is the narrow gate. To deal with those who make false claims of God, for and about God, forgive them, by acting out the truth concerning God. Let God be God and make no claim on Gods behalf.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Matrix of The Possible

I believe that we are spiritual beings snared in a web of ignorance. As spiritual beings I believe we have the authority of creation and the web that is our ignorance is our creation. I believe it is possible, and that occasionally, a person discovers the trick to walking in the realm of ignorance while being immune to it. Free of the normal constraint that is our agreed condition and creation, ignorance. This can only be done by using the magic that is ignorance, our communal agreement of constraint, to prove the truth. Everything is magic, nothing exists outside of its boundless influence. We are the masters, the authority, the creators of the reality we share. By the authority that is God, we create. We are imbued with creative authority by God but we do not name God. We are the creation that creates. We name and the name defines what is, we do not name God. It is God who names us and we in turn name and create. None can name God. God is self evident, even if God is naught.

The past and the future, I do not believe in them. I believe in creation. That the past and the future are constantly being created in the only known time, now. Nothing has ever happened at any other time. So what shall we create? This is something we do together, none do it alone.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

 

The Corruption of Now

As a curious reality I continue to struggle with my opposition to exposing what I consider to be my spiritual life, even though it is something that I have already done. It is an opposition to doing what I want to do. Well that seems a bit odd but I suspect it is not at all that unusual for a person to be self-conflicted in this way. I suspect that we all have some of this tendency. Not that we would all struggle with this as I have. I am sure plenty of people are very comfortable in their own skin. Personally I am more comfortable as time passes. I work to be that way and I bring the issue up as a simple observation. Internally it is as a constant complaint but when writing about it, it is an observation. It is certain that as long as I remain conflicted in this way I will fall short of my goal of being spiritually successful in the real world.

The human story has long included spirituality. People have considered themselves to be spiritual and to have spiritual experience. A few of us are revered as having found the way. It is usual that we hold these people to a different standard, as if they are somehow different. They are not. If they were their lives would be meaningless as they would not be like the rest. They would in fact be different. The only possible value in having an observable spiritual experience is if it is an experience anyone might have. Then it tells us something about ourselves. Who and how we are. This is the experience that I write about. My spiritual experience and I think it is the same sort of experience anyone might have. I have no reason to bother with it if it is not. That being said, we are not all given the same thing to do. That would be boring. Together we create a collective spiritual appointment. I am trying to keep mine. Which reminds me, so long as I am trying, I have yet to do it and am only trying.

There is something about creation, about magic, that I have yet to include in my understanding of now. It is certain that the only time ever experienced is now and the past and the future emanate from that single moment constantly. It would seem that all of time is created in that instant and contained there. I have thought that it must be creation itself, but increasingly, I see there is more to the equation. I believe it is something about the future that we can apply and the past is made to be obedient. It is common to remember the past but uncommon to remember the future. I really do not think it is any more difficult, we have simply long ignored this ability and in so doing forgotten how to do it. How can we remember what we have forgotten how to do? In the past we were born and perhaps we will be born again in the future but the only way to accomplish that is to first die. Is this why we will not remember the future? Are we simply afraid of what we can not avoid? Clearly we are as dead as we are alive, there is no other resolution for our animal existence.

I think there must be something for me to learn about the future. I think perhaps this is where my discomfort and complaint reside. The future. Have I made it a reservoir for fear and uncertainty? If I have then that future broadcasts itself into my past corrupting now and preventing it from expressing the success I am certain to enjoy.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

A Knot In Time

THE LAW OF ABUNDANCE

So we find our self alive. We are given a time, a place, a name. Who are we? Surely we must know. Are we the time, place and name conception and death graced us with? A knot in time. I can be said that this is where we are and the way we have found ourselves to be but quite unlikely that it is who we are. In this grand distraction we can unravel the knot and remember. If we would know the future we only need remember the past. It must be the same thing because the future is made of the past.

In considering this question of who, where we came from, it must also be where we are going. If we choose to remember this past, we also remember the future and who we are. It is a simple matter of letting go of all that we are not. That which diminishes value and divides into parts, is naught. This desire to divide is our folly. It is false ownership. An effort to collect the parts and imagine our value is determined by the number of parts we collect. There is no need to collect parts. The gift of life is ours in its whole measure. To end our want and need we must accept whole measures and then we are complete. One part. This is the one path, the one way that is known by all. Is is discovered by letting go and then all that actually is, is at our disposal. Free. There is nothing to collect. Letting go fulfills every want and need, abundance is the law.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

As It Always Has Been

The Next Step

After realizing the obvious, that I have already made my beliefs publicly known, shared my experience of spiritual reality, I am ready for the next step. To be comfortable about it. I had imagined that I needed to be open about my spiritual reality and that would somehow restore my spiritual health. Obviously I have succeeded, but I only just realized it. I have exposed a great deal about my personal experience. Anyone who finds this blog can read about it. I have already succeeded in making my life public and yet the prize of restored spiritual relations eludes me. Or does it? The only difference between thinking that I have succeeded in exposing myself, or, thinking I have yet to do it, was telling myself that I have. Admitting success. Even though it is obvious.

If the difference between my sense of having succeeded, or, still having to work toward it is telling myself that I have, then perhaps my spiritual life is the same way. A simple admission that it is alive and well. As it always has been. Now that I have realized that what I have been struggling with, toiling to complete, is already done, it is clear that something else remains. Something other than what has already been accomplished. The continuing struggle to do what I have already done is a silly ruse to fool myself. I succeeded at this some time ago. The only thing separating me from my timeless spiritual acquaintance is a sense of comfort and ease. This contentment, self-approval, comfort, it is the next step and the only thing I have ever had to do.

The time I have invested in exposing myself has been time well spent. In doing that I exposed a lot of dark places in my life where I might hide myself and presented it instead in broad daylight. For anyone to see. Now I need to be comfortable about it. That would be brand new territory for me. I hope it does not take as long to find that zone, the comfort zone, as it has to realize that I long ago succeeded at exposing myself. I suspect that my work to open myself up has facilitated much of what I need to be comfortable.

I did fall from grace. Life, I considered it to be overwhelming. Unless I think it is, it is not. I know these things. I understand metaphysics, the basic structures of existence, of being and sentience. I have used that understanding successfully for decades. So why have I done this to myself? This fall from grace. Perhaps I needed to prove my humanity before my soul can fit into this tired old suit and make an example of the spiritual heritage we all share. To be here now, the only time that exists.

Micheal, The Mystic Tourist ©2013

The Valley of Shadows

I have operated on the principal that if I just keep plugging away, sudden realization would be inevitable, and, confidence born of success, that is itself success, would be revealed. Imagining the spiritual landscape, I already find myself in, as success, is quite different. The confidence I seek is to be comfortable in my spiritual skin. Specifically to be comfortable in the spiritual shadow-land occupied by temporal spirits. Where doubt and shame, ridicule and embarrassment, reign. I refer to the expectation found in human sensibility that doubts spirituality. Many are sure that timeless beings of spiritual constitution are nonexistent and our realm of temporal spirits is populated with the spiritual equivalency of that certainty. That is because we are spiritual beings in a temporal reality. As spiritual beings we are by nature creative and our temporal spiritual landscape reflects the collective product of that creativity. The most prevalent disposition concerning our spirituality is ignorance and we blissfully deny the spiritual condition we are in as well as our authority regarding that condition. The spiritual influences we create in turn produce an agreed upon perception of reality. Forty three years ago I decided I would not share my understanding of our spiritual nature. How I see who we are and who I am. My attitude was; Let someone else do it, why should I bother. After all it is no secret. The path is clear for anyone who would take it. In a world where people ignore who and how they are I was angry that I could see it. Worse than that I was driven to pursue it. I wanted nothing to do with myself or the world I found myself in. Why bother?

That rage did tear me up but I managed to survive. I do think that at times destiny is stronger than death and we survive what would otherwise kill us. To my amazement, I, like many others, have survived.

While recovering from the worst of my behavior, a motorcycle accident, I finally took up the mystic person I had always been and tried it on for size. If it had any merit it would prove itself. It did. That time is over and I fell from my spiritual comfort zone. The path I have chosen to restore it goes through the shadowy valley of temporal spirits. To walk in the open as a spiritual being. When I was last faced with this choice, forty-three years ago, I decided to rage against all creation, until by attrition I was dead. It did not work but the temptation to take up that rage again remains strong. After all, nothing has changed, I am faced with the same question; Will I take a spirit-walk as a public figure? To make an example of our true spiritual nature, in a very public way. Time will tell that story best and I still have some left.

Anyone who has been reading this blog must know by now that I write to prod myself into the open. To force myself to let go and simply be here now. Even if I have put it off too long and fall short, this is worth it. I am the same as you and anyone can see as I do. Someone else will do it If I don’t. I feel that much of my writing is circular, the same story over and over. I apologize, I really should get to the point and just do what I am here to do. Take my spirit-walk through the valley of shadows. Invite the spiritual beings who have no temporal origin to join me. They are very comforting, I know this from personal experience, but if I am not comfortable they can not join me. I am as yet undecided about it. I am looking for the decision that will change that.

Michael, The Mystic Tourist, ©2013